TeamProtein
Episode Information[edit | edit source]
- Date of video
- February 6th, 2014
- Date of upload
- February 9th, 2014
- Duration
- 11 minutes 23 seconds
- Edited by
- Michael Aranda
- Appearances by
- Michael Aranda
- Anna Goldman
- Emily Graslie
- Kayleigh Kuffner
- Tamara Lynn Chambers
- Rob Scallon
Location[edit | edit source]
- Chicago, Illinois
- The Chicago Field Museum
Transcript[edit | edit source]
Michael: We just set up a time lapse of the beetles. They’re going to be, uh, chewing off all the muscle tissue and stuff from this two-headed, what was it?
Michael and Anna: (Simultaneously) Calf.
Anna: Moo!
Michael: Moo cow? You gonna spray it down?
Anna: I am.
Michael: Make it a little moist.
(spray bottle sounds)
Anna: Attract some attention. Get everybody crawlin’. Happy. Happy time. Come on guys.
Michael: People have been asking for a time lapse of the beetles for a long time.
(more spritzing)
In a Room With Books
Emily: Derp, derp, derp.
Michael: This is a book of… what?
Emily: This is a zoological uh index from 1907. "A Catalogue of the Collection of Mammals in the Field Columbian Museum." Derp derp! Derp-derp-derp. (laughs) It makes me happy. (laughs) Dippi-daw. These are ungulates.
Michael: So is this a collection of everything they had in the building at that time?
Emily: Well, yeah. Yeah, in the, in the zoological collections. Or at least in mammals. So yeah, these were all the specimens that were here in 1907. Which is, uh, quite a few.
Michael: How big would this book be now?
Emily: Um, that's a good question. What numbers does it go to? I don't know. I'm- uh, I don't even know how many- We've got millions though. Millions! And millions!
Michael: Does the index have latin names and common names?
Emily: Look at these guys. Look at these guys.
Michael: What are they?
Emily: I don't know, some kind of primate. The- the Drili? (whispers) The Tartarin.
Michael: Cool hair.
Emily: Huh, that's pretty sweet. Yeah, it does have common- does it have common names? Where are you seeing-?
Michael: It says latin names and, keep going, and then there's...
Emily: Oh!
Michael: ... common names.
Emily: Ooh! Bear-cat!
Michael: Well that's on page four-hundred.
Emily: Let's fi- maybe there's not a picture. (whispers) I hope there's a picture of the bear-cat. (reading) Three-ninety-nine, naw.
Michael: Why would you not include a picture of a bear-cat?
Emily: I don't know what a bear-cat is. There's a mongoose.
Michael: You could Google "bear-cat," see what happens.
Emily: I like the pictures. I only like books with pictures in them.
Michael: Like "Good Night Moon."
Emily: Whoa! (laughs) Derp!
Michael: He looks so sad.
Emily: (Sad sea otter voice) I'm a sea otter.
Michael: He's like, "Why are you drawing a picture of me?"
Emily: I just wanna go fishing! Myeeh! (laughing) He's so cute.
Elsewhere in the Field Museum
Kayleigh: It's kinda frightening... with no eyes.
Michael: What is- What is the clay for?
Kayleigh: Um, well there's glass eyes under it but the clay is just to hold the shape of the eyelids while they dry.
Michael: Hmm.
Emily: Look's great.
Kayleigh: Thanks.
Emily: I'm excited. I'm coming in tomorrow.
Kayleigh: Oh, okay. Well this should be here.
Michael: How long does-
Emily: Yeah!
Kayleigh: When are you getting off tomorrow?
Michael: How long does preparing a thing take?
Kayleigh: Um, well we've just been doing it over a couple days and just like steps and steps, but you can do it in a whole day, I'm sure. But we just haven't had time to sit down and do it for a whole day.
Emily: Great.
Michael: Have you named it?
Kayleigh: No, I'm still getting over my Harry Potter moment right now.
Michael: Oh.
Emily: Ohh.
The Chicago Field Museum Elevator
(elevator noises)
(telephone door squeaks)
In Collections
Emily: What is it- hydrophonograph?
Michael: Well, somehow it's measuring temperature, it says on the thing.
Anna: It measures temperature and, uh, humidity. I think. Yeah, temperature. Humidity. Yeah! And these are- So this room rarely gets used. So everything remains fairly consistent, except with the seasons.
Michael: That's interesting. So like, this one temperatures were in the fifties. Up here they're almost eighty. Eighty, seventy, whoa! Science!
Anna: (cackles)
Filming the Brain Scoop
Emily: Well, "wood chuck" makes about as much sense as "ground hog" or "whistle pigs," which are also commonly- I need to say "whistle pig," singular whistle pig. We only have one pig that's whistling.
Michael: (whistles)
Emily: Is my cord getting- Michael you're recording this!
Michael: Yeah!
Emily: (Emily noise) Twice! Well, "wood chuck" makes about as much sense as "ground hog" or "whistle pig".
Exploring the Collection
Michael: These guys have really yellow teeth.
Emily: The, they put a lacquer on it.
Michael: Oh.
Look how big this bird is. That's my hand. It's head- I just- What? I don't- What-
Emily: I don't know.
Michael: What even?
Emily: I don't even know. That albatross is also massive.
Somebody else: How does it stay in the sky?
Michael: It's- It's big.
Emily: Makes a bald eagle look like a little pigeon. This little, pansy little bald eagle.
(laughing)
Michael: Look at the size of this egg! It's so big!
Outside
(wind muffling microphone)
Michael: It's very cold. And very windy. So it's just blowing the coldness right into my jacket.
(incoherent)
Rob and Tamara's House
Michael: (mouthing Skyrim dialogue) ... in to battle and defeated him.
Uh, I made it back to Rob and Tamara's so I'm not freezing in the cold anymore. Tamara's playing some Skyrim.
Rob Scallon: Woo!
Tamara Lynn Chambers: Yep. Talking dragons.
Michael: Um, Rob is doing something.
Rob: I, I have a beautiful electric cello and I am not a cello player and I'm so used to having frets that I'm putting fret markers on it so I know what on Earth I'm doing. So I'm taping fret markers on the side.
Michael: So, what do the dots tell you?
Rob: Uh, just like the dots in the middle of a fret board they just, uh, let you know where you are. You don't actually, uh, go for the dots but they just give you a reference on where you are.
Michael: So you go for the lines.
Rob: Yeah, yeah. Cuz, uh-
Michael: Because on guitar I go in between em.
Rob: Yeah, but there are no frets here so it's like a- It's the same with a fretless bass. Uhm, A lot of them will have the line just to give you reference, so, you aim for the fret rather than in between like you would on a regular fretted instrument.
Michael: Tamara really wants a rat.
Tamara: I want one so bad.
Michael: And Rob doesn't want Tamara to have a rat. Boo! Boo!
Tamara: It'd be so cute and she'd be named Cheryl. That's such a good name for a rat.
Michael: She'd be named Cheryl. Everybody in the comments right now tell Rob to let Tamara get a rat.
Tamara: Yes. Yes. Yes!
Rob: We have cats.
Tamara: But I want a rat.
Michael: Shh!
Rob: It would- It would die.
Michael: Shh! Sh!
Tamara: Cheryl would not die! Cheryl would live on, Rob.
Michael: In our hearts.
Tamara: In our hearts. And in Ike's stomach.
Michael: I'm editing my vlog from yesterday right now and I'm realizing- I'm realizing that my vlogs have just turned in to, like, advertisements for products. I'm like: "Potbelly this!" "Mountain Dew that."
Rob: (Laughing) Well, you gotta start capitalizing on that, I guess.
Michael: But no one's paying me for it!
Rob: Exactly!
Michael: I really like that, that painting of that clock you guys have. It's really realistic.
Rob: Yeah. And you can change it, too, if you want. Like if you want to change the painting to a different time. You just like- (shakes clock) do that.
Tamara: Good job, babes. No, hang it! Oh, did the thing come off? (giggles) Rob you ruined our painting!
Rob: I ruined everything!
Michael: Look, I made a new painting! It's beautiful!
Tamara: It's ja, just as good. Let us go.
Michael: Wait, whoa whoa whoa! Did you just bite into that thing without the-
Rob: Yeah, I thought it would be funny for the video. It actually wasn't that bad. But I think I'm just going to throw it a- no.
Michael: Didn't your mom always tell you to peel your fruit?
Rob: I don't think she ever told me that, actually. But....
(Tamara shakes her head)
Michael: He's your boyfriend!
Rob: I ruin everything.
Tamara: He ruins everything. (laughs) It's okay, baby. (kiss) Yeah.
Rob: Thanks. It's good food.
Michael: Eww!
Rob's Car
Michael: I'm shivering too much, I can't hold the camera still.
(shivering sounds)
Tamara: I can see my breath in this car.
Rob: YouTube's gonna give you that "we noticed your video is shaky" do you want us to-
Michael: Here let me fix your shaky video by making it look like sh-t.
It's just that YouTube's algorithm detects that your video's shaky and then tries to fix it by putting, like, psychedelic LSD trip filter on it.
(Rob laughs)
Tamara: Really?
Michael: When's your birthday?
Tamara and Rob: Tomorrow.
Michael: Your birthday's tomorrow?
Tamara: Yes.
Michael: Rob!
Rob: What?
Michael: Do you know what would make an awesome birthday present for your girlfriend?
Rob: Cheryl?
Michael: A rat.
Rob: The rat.
Tamara: (laughing) A rat named Cheryl.
Michael: A rat named Cheryl.
Rob: It's not, it's not happening.
Michael: Aw, come on, Rob. You're breakin' my heart!
Rob: I know.
Tamara: You're breaking his heart, Rob.
Michael: I mean, you're breaking her's, too, but you're breaking mine!
Rob: I'm sorry!
In a Parking Lot
Michael: Guys, it's so cold. God must be punishing us for allowing the gays to marry.
To be honest, I am getting a little bit... I'm not going to say sick. A little bit... Like I've had enough Potbelly on this trip, is what I'm trying to say. Um, but at this point I've had it every day. I can't- I feel like I have to go this entire trip without missing a day. So just- just, Friday and Saturday. It's going to be a struggle. But I think I can do it.
At Forever Yogurt
Michael: Forever Yogurt because it's, it's cold, right? And when it's cold-
Rob: It's, it's- Which- which camera's on?
Michael: ... you crave cold stuff.
Rob: I guess this one's on.
Michael: I'm pointing at you.
Rob: Okay.
Michael: Your face. Logan Square. Is that where we are?
Rob: Uh, yeah.
Rob and Tamara's House
Michael: You know how Facebook encourages you to share life events?
Tamara: Yes.
Michael: So, it's like, "What life events would you like to share?" And it has a list of, like, bought a house, registered as an organ donor, quit smoking. The one at the bottom is, "became a vegetarian."
(Tamara giggles)
Michael: But like, what if today I was like, "I'm committing to being a, an omnivore for the rest of my life."
Tamara: It's pretty limiting.
Michael: I feel like I'm being held down by the man.
Tamara: Facebook is holding you down. But-
Michael: Facebook is trying to push their liberal agenda on me!
Tamara: Right. They're trying to deny you the protein that you deserve.
Michael: Yeah. I want to fight for my right to protein.
Tamara: Fight for your rights.
Michael: TeamProtein!
Tamara: Te(laughs)- TeamProtein.
Michael: Rob?
Rob: Yeah.
Michael: What team are you on?
Rob: Team... Applesauce.
Tamara: B-tch!
Michael: (laughing)