TeamApplesauce
Episode Information[edit | edit source]
- Date of video
- February 10th, 2014
- Date of upload
- February 11th, 2014
- Duration
- 5 minutes 35 seconds
- Edited by
- Michael Aranda
- Appearances by
- Michael Aranda
- Katelyn Salem
- Stefan Chin
- Charlie McDonnell
Location[edit | edit source]
- Missoula, Montana
Transcript[edit | edit source]
Michael's Apartment
Michael: I woke up to this kitty sleeping next to me and this kitty sleeping on me. Today's weigh-in is 184.4. That's higher than I've seen it in a long time. It's probably all of that Potbelly I've been eating, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
What are you cooking?
Katelyn: Rice because my frikken' wontons turned into soup. Which I guess would work if I was making wonton soup but that's not what I'm making.
Michael: That looks gross.
Katelyn: Yeah.
Michael: A package just arrived, I don't remember what I bought so this is gonna be fun. Oh it's just cat food.
Katelyn: Oh kitty look at all your cat food. Oh jeez, so happy.
Michael: I'm going through all the mail that I missed while I was in Chicago and I got a newsletter from Alcoholics Anonymous? (reading) "I am responsible when anyone, anywhere reaches out for help. I want the hand of AA to always be there and for that, I am responsible." How did I end up on this list?
This is the longest beard thing I've ever had. (computer sound) I just an email. I'm wondering if I should shave this off.
Katelyn: Shave it.
Michael: You think I should?
(Katelyn nodds)
Michael: Comments?
(rhythmically) Makin' the bacon. Make-make the bacon. Makin' the bacon. Make-make the bacon.
TeamProtein! What team are you on?
Katelyn: TeamProtein!
Michael: Oh I- I m- I missed you. I-
Katelyn: TeamProtein!
Michael: Are you sure you're not on TeamApplesauce?
Katelyn: Applesauce? There's applesauce?
Michael: It's either TeamProtein or TeamApplesauce. Rob's on TeamApplesauce.
Katelyn: Is it cinnamon applesauce?
(giggling at cat in snow)
Michael: It's Charlie McDonnell! Coming to you live from... England.
Charlie: That's where I am. It's not live though.
Michael: Oh.
Charlie: Though it's live right now for me and you, but not for them.
Michael: Well now Charlie and I are going to talk about top secret things! So goodbye!
Charlie: (clears throat) Goodbye!
Michael: The sun is reflecting off of my phone, on to the floor, and the cat is interested. Get it! Get it! (laughs)
Stefan's Car
Michael: Hey Stefan.
Stefan: Huh?
Michael: What happened to your phone?
Stefan: (laughs hysterically) I dropped it in the toilet. I actually almost dropped it in the toilet once before but it landed next to the toilet? But, you know, I just got kinda careless and I was pulling my pants up and, uh, plop!
Michael: Was the phone in your pants?
Stefan: No it was in my, uh, sweatshirt. My hoodie.
Michael: Ohh.
Stefan: And... so, you know. Sh-tty! (laughs)
Michael: Was the water sh-tty?
Stefan: No.
Michael: Oh. I don't know why I'm disappointed.
(both laugh)
Michael: Stefan and Laura and me... Wait.
Laura: Wait.
Michael: Wrong.
Stefan: And "I."
Michael: Stefan, Laura, and I are going to the gym to get buff.
Stefan: (buff sound) Huahh.
Michael: Um, I put on five pounds in Chicago.
Stefan: Really?
Michael: It's all that Potbelly.
Stefan: Pretty hardcore.
The Gym
(ambient gym noises)
Michael's Apartment
Stefan: (strange noise) I got a dislike on my video that I posted. Oh it's- well, here it is. Wait, it's not here, where is it? Um, wait. It was seventy-four likes and then I got one dislike.
Michael: (closed-mouthed uh-oh)
Stefan: I suck! (cries)
Michael: I just logged into Diablo III for the first time in a long time and I've got, like, a bazillion friend requests from some kind of "pvpbank.com" something-or-other.
Report spam. Accept. Report spam. Accept. Report spam.
I've decided that I want to own a Potbelly franchise. The problem is that it costs upwards of five hundred thousand dollars to start one. And... I don't have that kind of money.
Is there, like, a Kickstarter but for starting businesses? Where, like, rather than getting perks people get a stock in the company? I want to do that.
... and there's a nice empty lot right next to the movie theater where I can put a Potbelly, right there. And then all the people will come in and watch a movie and then they'll leave the movie and they'll be like, "Oh I'm really hungry I'm going to go eat a sandwich, yay!"
At the Grocery Store
Michael: Bacon...
(bacon slap)