TeamApplesauce

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Episode Information[edit | edit source]

Date of video
February 10th, 2014
Date of upload
February 11th, 2014
Duration
5 minutes 35 seconds
Edited by
Michael Aranda
Appearances by
Michael Aranda
Katelyn Salem
Stefan Chin
Charlie McDonnell

Location[edit | edit source]

Missoula, Montana

Transcript[edit | edit source]

Michael's Apartment

Michael: I woke up to this kitty sleeping next to me and this kitty sleeping on me. Today's weigh-in is 184.4. That's higher than I've seen it in a long time. It's probably all of that Potbelly I've been eating, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

What are you cooking?

Katelyn: Rice because my frikken' wontons turned into soup. Which I guess would work if I was making wonton soup but that's not what I'm making.

Michael: That looks gross.

Katelyn: Yeah.

Michael: A package just arrived, I don't remember what I bought so this is gonna be fun. Oh it's just cat food.

Katelyn: Oh kitty look at all your cat food. Oh jeez, so happy.

Michael: I'm going through all the mail that I missed while I was in Chicago and I got a newsletter from Alcoholics Anonymous? (reading) "I am responsible when anyone, anywhere reaches out for help. I want the hand of AA to always be there and for that, I am responsible." How did I end up on this list?

This is the longest beard thing I've ever had. (computer sound) I just an email. I'm wondering if I should shave this off.

Katelyn: Shave it.

Michael: You think I should?

(Katelyn nodds)

Michael: Comments?

(rhythmically) Makin' the bacon. Make-make the bacon. Makin' the bacon. Make-make the bacon.

TeamProtein! What team are you on?

Katelyn: TeamProtein!

Michael: Oh I- I m- I missed you. I-

Katelyn: TeamProtein!

Michael: Are you sure you're not on TeamApplesauce?

Katelyn: Applesauce? There's applesauce?

Michael: It's either TeamProtein or TeamApplesauce. Rob's on TeamApplesauce.

Katelyn: Is it cinnamon applesauce?

(giggling at cat in snow)

Michael: It's Charlie McDonnell! Coming to you live from... England.

Charlie: That's where I am. It's not live though.

Michael: Oh.

Charlie: Though it's live right now for me and you, but not for them.

Michael: Well now Charlie and I are going to talk about top secret things! So goodbye!

Charlie: (clears throat) Goodbye!

Michael: The sun is reflecting off of my phone, on to the floor, and the cat is interested. Get it! Get it! (laughs)

Stefan's Car

Michael: Hey Stefan.

Stefan: Huh?

Michael: What happened to your phone?

Stefan: (laughs hysterically) I dropped it in the toilet. I actually almost dropped it in the toilet once before but it landed next to the toilet? But, you know, I just got kinda careless and I was pulling my pants up and, uh, plop!

Michael: Was the phone in your pants?

Stefan: No it was in my, uh, sweatshirt. My hoodie.

Michael: Ohh.

Stefan: And... so, you know. Sh-tty! (laughs)

Michael: Was the water sh-tty?

Stefan: No.

Michael: Oh. I don't know why I'm disappointed.

(both laugh)

Michael: Stefan and Laura and me... Wait.

Laura: Wait.

Michael: Wrong.

Stefan: And "I."

Michael: Stefan, Laura, and I are going to the gym to get buff.

Stefan: (buff sound) Huahh.

Michael: Um, I put on five pounds in Chicago.

Stefan: Really?

Michael: It's all that Potbelly.

Stefan: Pretty hardcore.

The Gym

(ambient gym noises)

Michael's Apartment

Stefan: (strange noise) I got a dislike on my video that I posted. Oh it's- well, here it is. Wait, it's not here, where is it? Um, wait. It was seventy-four likes and then I got one dislike.

Michael: (closed-mouthed uh-oh)

Stefan: I suck! (cries)

Michael: I just logged into Diablo III for the first time in a long time and I've got, like, a bazillion friend requests from some kind of "pvpbank.com" something-or-other.

Report spam. Accept. Report spam. Accept. Report spam.

I've decided that I want to own a Potbelly franchise. The problem is that it costs upwards of five hundred thousand dollars to start one. And... I don't have that kind of money.

Is there, like, a Kickstarter but for starting businesses? Where, like, rather than getting perks people get a stock in the company? I want to do that.

... and there's a nice empty lot right next to the movie theater where I can put a Potbelly, right there. And then all the people will come in and watch a movie and then they'll leave the movie and they'll be like, "Oh I'm really hungry I'm going to go eat a sandwich, yay!"

At the Grocery Store

Michael: Bacon...

(bacon slap)