Stefan's New Car

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Episode Information[edit | edit source]

Date of video
March 17th, 2014
Date of upload
March 19th, 2014
Duration
10 minutes 12 seconds
Edited by
Michael Aranda
Appearances by
Michael Aranda
Jessica Angelo
Stefan Chin
Katelyn Salem

Locations[edit | edit source]

Missoula, Montana
A gym
Michael Aranda's Temporary Apartment
Bitterroot Motors
Stefan Chin's Ford Fiesta
HuHot Mongolian Grill
Cold Stone Creamery

Transcript[edit | edit source]

Gym

(Michael running on treadmill)


Michael's Temporary Apartment

Michael Aranda: Are you ready?

Katelyn Salem: I'm ready.

(Michael flicks paper)

Katelyn: Ooo? Ooooooh.

Michael: It's my silver play button for hitting 100,000 subscribers.

Katelyn: Here, gotta, gotta get it this way so I can read it.

Jessica Angelo: Wasn't that a while ago?

Katelyn: Yeah. That's really shiny.

Michael: I know.

Jessica: Why are you getting it now?

Michael: Um, I think that, I mean, I hit 100,000 a long time ago, but I think (blows on frame) uh, the, the prize thing is relatively new.

Jessica: Oh.


Inside Stefan's Car

(Turn signal clicking)

Michael: Hey Stefan.

Stefan Chin: Heh?

Michael: (Begins dancing with head) What are we doing right now?

Stefan: We're ma...uh, driving.

Michael: Where are we driving?

Stefan: To, aaa, you know, car...place.

Michael: To a car place?

Stefan: Yeah. Yes.

Michael: What's gonna happen there?

Stefan: Euh, we're gonna drive a car.

Michael: K.


Bitterroot Motors

(Background chatter)

Michael: Look at dis car.

Stefan: Look at dat thang.

Michael: Look at dat thing.

Stefan: Got a feel that thing out.

Michael: (Pointing at car label) 29, $1,800 per year for fuelage.

Stefan: Ain't gonna be that much, you know what I'm sayin?

Michael: Ain't gonna be that much?

Stefan: (Shaking head) Ain't gonna be that much.

Michael: How do you feel, Stefan?

Stefan: It's good.

Michael: It's good. It's real good.

Stefan: I'm feelin' it.

Michael: That blue looks real nice on you.

Stefan: Oh shoot.


Inside the Ford Fiesta

Car Salesman: You can voice command all of the different options. Some pretty cool features.

Stefan: Uh huh.

Car Salesman: Pick your radio station. Whatever.

Stefan: Yeah.

Car Salesman: Without having to take your hands off the wheel, which is nice when your, uh, you know, tearing through the gears in this thing.

Stefan: That's what I'm saying.

Car Salesman: That's tight handling.

Stefan: Yeah, I mean, I watched a few videos, but I didn't know, how nice the turning is.

Car Salesman: Right, so the idea is, so what you want to do....

Michael: How do you feel?

Jessica: Nervous.

Katelyn: Crap.

Michael: Nervous?

Jessica: Yeah-p.

Michael: Why are you nervous?

Jessica: (Laughing) Cause Stefan's driving.

Michael: That's racist.

(Jessica laughing)


Outside Bitterroot Motors

Michael: It's pretty small back there, but it's the same as the other fiesta we had.

Stefan: As the other fiesta, yeah.

Michael: Well, you gonna get it?

Stefan: I don't know. What do you think?

Michael: I mean, I think you should get it.

Stefan: Oh.


Inside Bitterroot Motors

Michael: Stefan just bought a car with this pen.

(Stefan inhales sharply)

Michael: You signed the paper with that pen.

Stefan: (Making unsettling face) Not the pen!

Michael: While we were here, (points at police car), a police officer pulled in. And then he went, um, in, in to that room over there (points across car showroom) and was talking to somebody. That's, I wonder what's happening. That's suspicious.

Katelyn: Maybe you're getting arrested.

Michael: I'm not getting arrested. I didn't do anything.

(Stefan and Jessica chatting)

Katelyn: But maybe you did.

Michael: I didn't do anything.


Outside Bitterroot Motors

Michael: This is Stefan inspecting his new vehicle.

Stefan: (Old man voice) Just looking for scratches, You know what I'm sayin'.

Michael: Gotta make sure it ain't got no scratches on it. Kinda looks like it has a face.

Stefan: Yeah, with some slanty eyes.

Michael: That's racist. Let's say goodbye to Stefan's civic.

Stefan: Oh, it's locked. I don't have the key anymore.


Inside Stefan's New Ford Fiesta

Michael: There goes Stefan's old car!

Stefan: Bye!

Michael: Bye, bye car.

Stefan: Uuugh.

Michael: How do you feel?

Stefan: I'm in, I'm in a new one.

Michael: You're in a new one.

Where are we driving first in your new car?

Stefan: Khooo khut.

Michael: HuHot!

Stefan: For some asians.

Michael: So we can show, uh, Jessica the magic of HuHot Mongolian Grill.

Jessica: Oh, mongolian.


HuHot Mongolian Grill

(Restaurant chatter)

Michael: Is that all you got?

Jessica: Yeah, well, I'm gonna get more, but I wanted to see which one I liked. And then I'll go and get more.

Stefan: She's got an eating disorder. I'm really worried.

Jessica: Don't tell my mom that.

Stefan: Jessica's mom, if you're out there, I'm worried about your daughter.

Jessica: I don't.

Stefan: She's not eating anything. She's lost since getting here yesterday. It's bad.


Michael's Temporary Apartment

Michael: I have really bad news. Nobody wants to go to Cold Stone with me.

(Laughter)

Michael: Jessica doesn't want to go to Cold Stone.

Jessica: If you, if you say "Jessica, I'm, I'm gonna cry if nobody goes with me".

Michael: But I'm not cry if nobody goes with me.

Jessica: Would you prefer someone go with you?

Michael: I just, I'm scared of being alone. You know? ... Katelyn doesn't want to go with me.

Katelyn: I'd go, but I already have my pajamas on.

Michael: She already has her pajamas on and apparently, you can't go to Cold Stone in pajamas, so.

Jessica: I'm wearing sweatpants already.

Michael: Sweatpants aren't pajamas.

Jessica: They, they may pajamas.

Michael: (sigh)


Cold Stone Creamery

(Music playing)


Michael's Temporary Apartment

Michael: I checked my P.O. box today and, among other things in there, was this, uh, card sent by someone whose name you might, uh, recognize if you frequent the comments on these videos. Ah, a mister Michael Morgan, uh, sent this thing, eugh, he wrote, uh, that he saw it in a shop in Savannah, Georgia last week and he thought that he would send it my way to cheer my day up a bit. Um, this is what it looks like. Except when you turn it a little bit, it does that. (Laughs). So, I'm a little curious about why exactly, uh, this made you think of me. But thanks nonetheless.

I just hope it's not some kind of omen that death is .... nigh.

Ok I need everbody in the comments right now to tell Jessica to do her homework.

Jessica: I don't need to. I have a week!

Michael: Do your homework.

Jessica: I have a weeeek!

Michael: Do you homework.

Jessica: Wiki, Wikipedia says...

Stefan: Give me twenty!

Jessica: No!

(Confused laughter)

Michael: What is your homework?

Jessica: Um, I have to, I just explained it. I read it out loud. What I have to do is write a program that will calculate....

(Dropping sound)

Stefan: Oh god!

Jessica: Noooo!

Michael: What did you do? What did you just do?

Jessica: (Muffled) I quit. I'm dropping out of school.

(Laughter)

Stefan: That's a little extreme.

Michael: What, what did you just do!

Jessica: I unplug, I unplugged my laptop.

Michael: You unplugged your laptop?

Jessica: Yeah, you wanna plug it in?

Michael: Wait, you mean this thing right here? Came out of that?

Jessica: No! No!

Michael: (Picking up different thing) You mean this thing right here came out of that?

Jessica: Yeah, yeah. Can you put it back in?

Michael: (Drops laptop charger) I don't really want to.

Jessica: Noooo. Do you wanna know what my homework is then?

Michael: Yeah?

Jessica: I have to, uh, write a class that will tell you how, the likelihood of rolling .... dice that will add up to seven.

Michael: You have to write a class?

Jessica: Yeah, it's in Java.

Michael: You have to write a class in Java.

Jessica: Yeah.

I have to use code for the class seven tally. So it's gonna start out, like, (Typing) class seven tally.

Michael: So you're doing your homework right now?

Jessica: No. I'm just showing you briefly. I don, I forget C now. "(Laughing)

Stefan: Well, you just started so...

Michael: Might as well finish.

Stefan: You might as well finish.

Jessica: I just wrote down what it's gonna sa, what it's gonna be called.

Michael: Public class SevenTally.

Jessica: I'm not even really sure at, eck, I don't know if I even have to do parentheses and then a semicolon.

Michael: Ok, if you do your homework, I'll plug in your computer.

Jessica: My computer's gonna die before I finish.

Michael: You better work fast.

Stefan: Better turn it in faster.

(Jessica laughing)

Michael: Right cat? Right. Look she doesn't want to plug it in either.

Jessica: Cat.

Michael: She's just like, mmm.

Jessica: She's thinkin' about it.

Michael: No, she's really not. Yeah, see that little flick of the tail. She's like, meh.

Jessica: She's sassy. Yeah, but you like me. You don't like Stefan, but you like me.

Stefan: She don't like me.

(Michael editing The Brain Scoop)

Michael: (Sigh) I have just been informed that Jessica has actually started her homework, so, um, as a, as a sign of good faith, I'm gonna plug in her computer.

Jessica: (inaudible) Awwww. That's better.

Michael: That's a huge thing.

Jessica: I was, I wasn't gonna put any semicolons or brackets or, I mean, parentheses. I was gonna put a curly bracket after the SevenTally, for anyone that knows Java. I was...

Michael: Does that mean you were doing it wrong or correct? Ly.

Jessica: Well, no. Wrong. Well, I wasn't really thinking. So yeah it would have been incorrect. For a class.

Michael: Right cat? Meow.

Where'd you park?

Stefan: It's way over there.

Michael: Way over there?

Stefan: I don't know if I can see it.

Michael: Is it, is it the, that one right there?

Stefan: Yeah.

Michael: Is it still there. No one stole it?

Stefan: No.

Michael: Ok, good.

For months, I've been steadily bleeding twitter followers.

Stefan: Huh.

Michael: And I don't .....really know what to do about it.

Stefan: (inaudible) tweeting?

Michael: About, roughly the same pace at which I've been tweeting for the last .... four years.

Jessica: Same content?

Michael: Ish. I don't think I've made any major changes. Um, I was up at 76,000 for a while. Um, it's just been slowly going downward. Down to 74.6 thousand.........I don't know if it's, because Youtube deletes old accounts.

Stefan: Yeah.

Michael:So sometimes I don't know if twitter does something like that or not or if people are genuinely like "I really don't like this guy anymore. Unfollow"

Stefan: That's what I did.

Michael: To me?

Stefan: Yeah.

Michael: Oh.

Tell me the truth. What's the secret to growing a twitter audience? She's not saying anything.