Sinkhole to Hell

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Sinkhole to Hell

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Episode Information
Date of episode Saturday – Tuesday
March 11 – 14, 2017
Date of upload April 1, 2017
Duration 13:52
Intro Zack Byam
Special Thanks Mars M
Sheryl De Vera
Lianne Gross
This episode was brought to you by Tabea
Ronja Jaanu
Sam April
Yesterday's Comment of the Day "if you named your new house "tiny" you could claim you now have a "tiny" house" – Dominic Ransom
Credits
Michael Aranda
Camera, editing, music
Katelyn Salem
Editing, sound
Songs "Intro"
"Index"
"Radius"
"Outro"
Appearances Index
Todd Williams
Katelyn Salem
Kelsey Cote
Radius
Ceri Riley
Nicole Sweeney
Abi Rein
Michael Morgan
Matthew Gaydos
Valerie Barr
Rodney Acda
Locations
Missoula, Montana
Michael Aranda's Apartment
Ross Dress for Less
Todd Williams' Car
Mullan Road
Wood House
Complexly Office
Ceri Riley's Car
Woody Street
Synema Studios Office
Katelyn Salem's Jeep
Chronology
Boob Braces Sinkhole to Hell Beauty and the Beast
Data
  Mar 11 Mar 14
Weather
Missoula, Montana
State Partly Cloudy Mostly Cloudy
Temperature 46°F 8°C 41.0°F 5°C
Wind 11.5 mph 18 kph Calm
Humidity 58% 100%


Anthropometry
Weight 195.5 lbs 88.7 kg No Data
Body Fat 25.8% No Data
Resting Heart Rate 46 bpm 49 bpm
Blood Pressure 119/68 mmhg 122/76 mmhg


Season Seven Statistics
Distance
Jogged 94.6 mi / 151 km
Cycled 0 mi / 0 km
Driven 964 mi / 1551 km
Flown 5050 mi / 8127 km
Misc
Bacon Slaps 0
Flights 5
Gym Visits 12
Haircuts 1
Hikes to the M 0
Papyrus 4
Merch Items Sold 16
Pizzas 4
Todd-Fives 9
Travel Issues 2


Transcript[edit | edit source]

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

(Zack Byam records a video in Snapchat of an acoustic blues folk band. Text over the video reads "Zack from Pittsburgh. This darkness is Steel city blues festival & you're watching what I'm doing right now.")


("Intro" plays over the opening title screen.)


Michael Aranda's Apartment – 2:06 PM MST

(Index sits at Michael's feet.)

Index: Meow.

Michael Aranda: Good morning kitty. You're the last thing I filmed, and the first thing today.


Michael Aranda's Apartment Complex

(Michael, Todd Williams, Katelyn Salem, and Kelsey Cote walk out to Todd's car.)

Michael: Good morning Todd.

Todd Williams: (Fake disgustedly) What do you want?

Michael: What I actually want is Burger King.

Todd: Oh.

Michael: How do you feel about Burger King?

Todd: Uh... I’m indifferent. But if you want—if you want, like, a nice King sandwich, well then... we’ll get you one.

Katelyn Salem: A King sandwich?

Todd: Yeah.

Michael: A Whopper?

Todd: Yeah, get a King sandwich.


(Dance music plays over a One "King Sandwich" Later screen.)


Ross Dress for Less

Michael: Todd?

Todd: Yes sir?

Michael: Do you love it?

Todd: I’m lovin’ it.

Michael: Nah, It’s "I love it. I got it at Ross."

Todd: Oh. I thought you were talking about McDonald's.

Michael: Nah, the old Ross commercials.

Todd: Oh, I forgot about that.

Michael: Todd’s looking for shoes. You can save 20 to 60 percent. What’s wrong with these old ones?

(Todd shows the inside heal of his shoe where the fabric is torn up.)

Yeah?

Todd: So, when I walk in these, for some reason they hurt my feets.

Michael: Hmm.

Todd: So when—when we were in Boston and New York, I was marching along and my feets hurt. So... no more of these guys.

(Todd is trying on a pair of Vans while a pair of Nike shoes sit next to his feet. Michael points at the Nike shoes.)

Michael: So you like these?

Todd: Uh huh.

(Michael points at the Vans.)

Michael: Do you like these?

Todd: I don’t know. I don’t think so.

(The camera shows a cardboard standee of a popcorn bag that reads "Claire's Popcorn". Kelsey crouches behind it and puts her face through the cutout hole.)

Michael: Wow! You look just, like, a...

Kelsey: Popcorn?

Michael: Popcorn bag.

(The camera pans down the top of a shelf to show Todd walking down the next aisle over testing out shoes. Katelyn points to one of the display shoes.)

Katelyn: My dad wears these.

Todd: I mean, I would wear those.

(The camera shows a pile of nylon socks.)

Michael: Look at this Todd. Isn’t that fun?

(Todd picks one up.)

Todd: Hmm. These are for your head.

Michael: For your head?

Todd: Yeah.

Michael: Why are they for your head?

Todd: You put these on your head. See?

(Todd opens the nylon sock and raises it above his head, but it doesn't open wide enough to go fit his head.)

Oh, these are not for your head. Definitely not for your head.


Todd Williams' Car

Michael: Todd, do you feel like your shoe hunting expedition was fruitful?

Todd: I got a pair of shoes.

Michael: You got a pair of shoes.

(Todd looks back at Michael through the rear-view mirror and realizes Michael is filming.)

Todd: Oh, yes. I still have not found my perfect slip-on shoes but, maybe that’s just right up the road.

Michael: Just around the riverbend?

Todd: Could be. Just look once more.

Michael: Beyond the shore.

Todd: Jokes!


Michael Aranda's Apartment

("Index" plays as Index stands on the couch next to Katelyn, who is lying down and scratching him)

Michael: Kitty.

(The camera gets close to Index's face.)

Do you know you're an internet star?

(Index jumps down on to the floor.)

Index: Meow.

Michael: Even that kitty over there.

("Radius" begins to play as Radius walks across the living room to the couch. She sits down as Katelyn pats first her chest and then the couch next to her trying to get Radius to jump up. She jumps up and lays down on Katelyn, who pets her.)


Michael Aranda's Apartment Complex

(Kelsey carries several large boxes out to the dumpster as Michael walks alongside her with the camera.)

Michael: There’s a lady that lives, a... couple doors over from us who’s moving. So she keeps putting stuff out on the landing asking people to help, uh... bring it downstairs to the trash in exchange for pizza! So Kelsey’s been carrying stuff down.

Kelsey: Been earning myself some pizza.

Michael: Mhm.


Mullan Road – 4:53 PM MST

Michael: I think this is my first outdoor run of the year. We’re gonna jog down to the house that, uh... Ceri and I are now under contract to buy.

(Light, adventurous piano music plays over shots of geese flying overhead, Kelsey and Katelyn running down the road, and Michael waving at a cow as he runs past it.)


Wood House

Michael: Here’s Wood House.

(The camera shows an empty, snowy field that stretches out toward snowy mountains in the distance. Michael points to a building in the middle distance. There's a shot of a plane flying over head.)

This is the view back behind the house. The airport is right there. So there’s going to be a fair amount of plane traffic coming in... but my apartment over there is already kind of under the flight path anyway.

(There is no fence between Wood House and it's next door neighbor. There's a trampoline in the middle of the snowy backyard and a car parked next to the garage, which is separate from the house. A small fence runs along the sidewalk from the garage to the backdoor of the house. A boat also sits in front of the garage door.)

This is the back of the house. I guess these two houses... they were friends, so they just left this as kind of a... communal area. I think my plan is going to be to take down that fence there. Put a fence along the property line and then do something with the back yard. I expect that, probably it doesn’t come with the old Toyota and the old Master Craft.

(The camera scans down the street in front of Wood House.)

I just realized something. Where’s the mailbox? None of the houses over here have mailboxes. There must be a central mail thing.

(The camera shows a large mailbox with labels written in permanent marker across the top. The key holes for the large boxes have arrows drawn over them.)

I found ‘em. They’re over here. This is... really high quality labeling. Someone had a hard time figuring out which way to turn the keys.


Community Park

Michael: There’s a nice little park... pond thing back here.

Katelyn: Well that's... kind of a pond...

Michael: It’s an ice staking rink right now.

(Two dogs are playing in the mud on the edge of the pond where the ice has cracked.)

Those dogs are just gettin’ in there. That looks cold. So, assuming nothing catastrophic happens, this will be my new community.

(Michael points down the street.)

There’s kids playing all over place. There’s dogs—that girl’s on one of those hoverboard things over there.


(A synth drones over the Tuesday March 14, 2017 screen.)


Complexly Office – 11:18 AM MDT

(Michael walks through the basement towards his office.)

Michael: Good morning. First thing on the list today, before I forget, is that, uh... my brother’s metal band, The Unsung, is in some kind of contest to perform at Warped Tour this year. Uh, so I’ll put a link in the video description.

(The camera shows the contest page for The Unsung on Michael's computer screen.)

As far as I understand, this contest just requires... web traffic. So, like, just viewing the page, I think, helps them out. Uh... watching the videos on the page helps them out. Commenting on stuff helps them out. And then, uh... following or sharing on this page. So, if that is a thing you’re interested in, you can find that link below.


Ceri Riley's Car

(The camera shows a U-Haul driving in front of the car.)

Michael: Ceri?

Ceri Riley: Yes?

Michael: What are we doing right now?

Ceri: We are going to the inspection on Wood House to see what is wrong with it, if anything.

Michael: So apparently when you buy a house. I don’t know if this is required, or just something that’s like, generally expected, but as part of this process we hired an inspector to go to the house, and figure out everything that could possibly be wrong with it. So we can go to the seller and say “Hey this is busted. Fix this.” Or... say “Hey,” I dunno, “we don’t want to buy this house anymore because there’s a giant sinkhole to the depth of hell underneath it.”

Ceri: I think it has something to do with the lender, too. So, if it’s not—I don’t know if this is a part of the appraisal process or not, but I think the inspection might have to do with the perceived value of the house, and if that is lower than what we’re paying for it, uh... then we can also back out of the deal.

Michael: I noticed something on Zillow yesterday. Zillow is a website where you can look at real estate stuff. This house is no longer listed on Zillow.

Ceri: Ah.

Michael: They took it off.

Ceri: They’re hoping we buy it. I guess this is, like, pretty committed to buy it.

Michael: I mean, we did sign a thing saying “We’re going to buy this.”

Ceri: Yeah, yeah.

Michael: There's a U-Haul truck in front of us.

Ceri: Yeah.

Michael: It’s an omen.

Ceri: For the moving that we’re eventually gonna have to do?

Michael: Yup.


Wood House

(The "For Sale" sign in the front yard of Wood House now reads "Sale Pending".)

Michael: Look at that sale pending sign.

Ceri: Mhm. I wonder who is buying it.

Michael: I don’t know.


(Dance music plays over a One Inspection Meeting Later screen.)


Michael: Well Ceri, what are your thoughts?

Ceri: I’m glad that the house isn’t falling apart and doesn’t have a portal to hell.

Michael: But having a portal to hell would at least be interesting.

Ceri: That’s true.

Michael: It would make for a good vlog.

(Ceri laughs.)

Ceri: Your last vlog.

Michael: You don’t know.

Ceri: Maybe.

Michael: I might conquer and survive the depths of hell.

Ceri: Mhm.


Complexly Office

(Michael sits in Ceri's office with an open box in front of him.)

Michael: I got a thing in the mail today from, uh... FeiyuTech, I guess is how you pronounce this. It’s a, uh, three axis gimbal for smartphones. Uh... it says I can connect my smartphone to this SPG series via Bluetooth for shotting.

Ceri: All that shotting.

Michael: I’m about to do some shotting.

(Michael has the gimbal on his lap and stretches open its clamps.)

So I just put a battery in this thing, and then I went to go put my phone in it, but this thing cannot open wide enough to fit this phone. So... Not really sure what to do about that.

(Michael's phone is now in the gimbal. The phone isn't being held up and keeps falling to a downward angle.)

Apparently I was just dumb. I was able to put it in the thing. Just took a little finagling. The device is not currently on so it just kind of flops around as you can see. Okay. So this is, uh... without the gimbal powered on. It’s just kind of floating around right now. I’m pushing the button now to turn it on.

(The phone becomes horizontal and swivels around as the gimbal turns on.)

There it goes. Okay, and now I can move this around. That seems pretty stable.

(Michael hums as he walks around with the gimbal, which holds the phone steady.)

There’s a button on the thing that lets me pan and tilt around. It goes in a—I feel like the up and down directions are reversed. If I do this I want it to go up but it goes down.

(Michael walks into the common area of the Complexly offices as he tests out the stability of the gimbal.)

It’s so smooth.

(Michael walks around the table in the kitchen area. Nicole Sweeney is getting some chocolate covered pretzels out of a large jar.)

I’m smoothly watching you get snacks.

Nicole: No, don’t do it. This is a secret. Don’t. Don't know about it.


Woody Street

(Michael and Ceri walk down the street. The camera is facing forward, and then smoothly swings around to the left to face Michael. Ceri laughs. Only the bottom half of Michael's face is in frame.)

Michael: So Ceri and I are now walking to the bank because we have to sign some more paperwork for our house. So far this little toy seems to be... interesting. It'll be nice to see how well the battery lasts. I didn’t charge it before taking it out right now. So I don’t know how charged it is. I don’t know if you can see me. What if I do this?

(The camera angles up so Michael's whole head is in frame.)

That looks more like it’s aiming at me. Anyway, I’m going to turn you around now.

(The camera gently moves up and down as Michael uses the controls on the gimbal.)

I wish it was able to lock... to a certain tilt level, but it doesn’t seem to be able to do that. It’s... just kind of drifting over time, and then I have to correct it with the up/down thing.

(The camera swings left to show Ceri walking. It is tilted down to the right slightly.)

I can get a nice dolly shot.

Ceri: Mhm.

Michael: It’s really tilty right now.

(Ceri leans to the side slightly as she walks while looking at the camera.)

Ceri: I just have to like... tilt as I walk.

(Michael holds a bank document with highlighted text and notes written on it.)

Michael: We just left the bank and they gave us a list of a bunch of things we that need to turn in. There’s so much paperwork, Ceri!

Ceri: Too many things!

Michael: And a lot of the paperwork that we brought them when we applied for the thing has expired, so we need to bring them newer versions of the same paperwork. And I guess in some cases we need to give them older versions of the same paperwork.


Synema Studios Office

(Michael walks up to the office door and opens it. Todd stands in the middle of the room.)

Michael: Hey buds.

Todd: Oh hey buds.

Todd: Is this from B&H?

Michael: Yeah! This is... those gimbals that they said they were going to send us, if we showed them off in videos. So I’m testing out the phone one today.

(The camera faces away from Michael toward Todd at his desk.)

So I can have it like this, and then I push this button right here.

(Michael pushes a button three times.)

And then, uh... I guess nothing happens

Todd: (Disappointedly) Oh.

(Michael pushes the button three times again. The camera spins around on the gimbal to face Michael.)

Michael: Oh! There it goes.

Todd: Oh! There it goes. Nice!

Michael: So you can make it do a 180. Another three button pushes...

(Michael pushes the button three times again.)

and then it should turn back around.

(Todd stomps his foot and stretches out his hands.)

Michael: Tada!

Todd: Hassa bassa!

(A laptop shows a Skype call with Abi Rein and Michael Morgan. Michael moves the gimbal around as he's talking.)

Michael: So with this I can, uh... film my Skype calls with perfect stability, even as my move my arm around a bunch.


Car

(The camera is pointed out the passenger window.)

This is using the gimbal in the car. Seems to be reasonably stable.


Complexly Office

(Michael closes the front door behind him as he walks into the building.)

Michael: Hello, Matthew Gaydos!

Matthew Gaydos: Hello, Michael Aranda.

Michael: How are you?

Matthew: I am swell.

(Michael pushes the gimbal button three times.)

Michael: I’m just going to push this button three times to turn this thing around.

Matthew: Oooo... Fancy. Can it aim up or down?

(Matthew crouches down and the camera points down slowly at him, and then slowly up as he stands up.)

Michael: Uh... you have control over where it looks. It’s not super responsive. I don’t know if you can change that. And it seems like... at least with this over time the camera does this...

(Michael reaches his hand into frame and slowly tilts it to the right. Matthew tilts his head to the right as he talks.)

Matthew: It does seem to be leaning down this way a little bit...

Michael: Um, and I’m not sure how to fix that.

Matthew: Hmm.

Michael: But. That’s a thing. Do you feel like something like—like this would be useful for filming Animal Wonders more so than that stabilization rig that you have for the DSLR?

Matthew: Yes. Although... the lack of quickness would be a problem.

(Michael swings the camera from left to right to test the gimbal's turning speed.)

Michael: Oh, I suppose that's true.

Matthew: Like when you’re filming a fox... you tend to be all over the place.

Michael: Yeah.

Matthew: The ideal would be a full on steady cam rig.

Michael: Yeah.

Mathew: Which we cannot afford.

(Michael begins to walk around Matthew as he's talking.)

Um... but the Glidecam works...

Michael: Oooo, look at how smooth this is. Geez.

Matthew: I’m sure it looks great.

Michael: FeiyuTech is the company that sent me this. They also sent me one for GoPro. So if you ever want to stick a GoPro on one... let me know.

Matthew: Is it rechargeable?

Michael: Yeah, there is a rechargeable battery in the base.

Matthew: It looks really smooth.

Michael: It’s pretty sweet.

(Michael makes a buzzing noise as he walks into Ceri's office and swings the camera to point at her sitting at her desk. She waves at him. He then buzzes into the common area where Matthew, Valerie Burr, and Rodney Acda are talking.)

Matthew: I’m liking that’s the sound of zooming around.

(Michael buzzes the camera up to Valerie and pans around her head a couple times.)

Rodney: Is that s—stabilizing?

Valerie: Oh, it is. That's crazy.

Rodney: What?

(Michael buzzes the camera up to Rodney.)

Matthew: Yeah.

Rodney: What?!

Valerie: Is it really good? Pretty good?

(Michael stops buzzing.)

Michael: It’s pretty good.

Valerie: It’s cool.

Michael: It’s the only one of these I’ve ever tried, so I can’t compare it to anything.

Valerie: But like compared to—

Michael: This came from a company called FeiyuTech.

Rodney: FeiyuTech.

(Matthew is out of frame, but his keys jingle as he jumps once during his pause.)

Matthew: What about like... jumping?

Michael: I mean it can’t correct for—

(Michael jumps up and down twice.)

Valerie: Up and down.

Matthew: Right.

Michael: This has 3 degrees of stabilization, not 6.

Matthew: So like, if you’re, like, jogging with it...

Michael: Yeah, I’m sure it would still be...

Matthew: It’s still pretty...

Michael: Bouncy.

Valerie: Probably wouldn't be as—

(Michael jogs around in the common area.)

Michael: I mean I can try... running around with it right now. I’ll see what this looks like when we get it in the computer. Oh, I forgot, uh... Katelyn’s waiting for me outside, so I’m just gonna go get my stuff.

(Michael and Rodney laugh.)


Katelyn Salem's Jeep – 6:27 PM MDT

Michael: Katelyn.

Katelyn: Mhm.

Michael: Do you know what Matthew just told me?

Katelyn: No, what’d he just tell you?

Michael: He told me that Rachel Maddow says that she has Trump’s tax returns and is going to be releasing them tonight at 7 PM.

Katelyn: (Shakily) What? Is it real?

Michael: He was just saying that he doesn’t see any reason she would lie about it. That does seem like a big deal if it’s true.

Katelyn: Okay. Don’t put this in the vlog if it’s embarrassing, but should I know who Rachel Maddow is?

Michael: Uh... she is... like a political newsy host-type person on MSNBC.

Katelyn: How does Matt know that she...

Michael: Apparently she announced—

Katelyn: She announced it.

Michael: I don’t know if on Twitter or just through whatever news channels.

Katelyn: I thought this was like a thing where, like, it one of Matt’s friends, and he was like one of the only people that knew, sort of thing.

Michael: Also.

Katelyn: That’s great.

Michael: You edit these things, so you are the person that gets to decide whether or not that goes in the vlog.

(Katelyn laughs.)

Katelyn: That’s true.


Michael Aranda's Apartment

(The camera shows the TV playing The Rachel Maddow Show.)

Rachel Maddow: David Cay Johnston and his reporting shop DCReport.org—That’s who obtained this return. And tonight, we have this exclusive first look at their reporting, at what they have obtained.

Michael: So Rachel Maddow’s thing about Trump’s taxes was... interesting I guess? But it wasn’t like "the bombshell thing" that everybody expected to get Trump kicked out of office or anything. So I think they overhyped it a little bit.

(Michael points at a Domino's pizza sitting on the counter.)

Look what Ceri just brought.

Ceri: Mhm.

(Index stands at Ceri's feet.)

Michael: Right Cat?

Index: Meow.

Michael: Right.


("Outro" plays over the end screen.)