Seattle's Weather

Episode Information

Date of video

April 28th, 2015

Date of upload

June 8th, 2015

Duration

10 minutes 11 seconds

Edited by

Michael Aranda

Logan George

Appearances by

Michael Aranda

Claire Grosvenor

Stefan Chin

Brought to you by

Isak

Myka Dassano

Location

Missoula, Montana

Walmart

Weather

Clear

High: 78°F/26°C

Low: 32°F/0°C

Humidity: 54%

Anthropometry

Weight: 176.5 lbs/80.1 kg

Body Fat: 19.5%

Heart Rate: 82 bpm

Blood Pressure: 120/79 mmhg

2015 Statistics

Distance Jogged: 81.2 mi/130.7 km

Flights: 11

Bacon Slaps: 5

Hikes to the M: 6

Pizzas Consumed: 23

Visits to HuHot: 8

Visits to Chipotle: 2

Transcript

Michael: I feel like as this month has gone on, I've gotten worse and w... Oh, I just learned that, uh, if a notification pops up on the screen while I'm filming, it stops filming. That's awesome. Anyway, as I was saying, uh, I feel like as this month has gone on, I've gotten worse and worse at actually filming things. Because of school, or girlfriends, or whatever. I think I've enjoyed going back to school, and I think I would like to continue, but I'm certainly looking forward to school being over in a few weeks. Anyway, I'm on my way to get a haircut.

So, not only did I succeed in getting a haircut, but I also found an Emily.

Emily: Hi! And a Melony. (laughter)

Michael: Uh, they were at the, what is this place called? Bernice's Bakery. At the bakery right next to the place where I get my haircut, and, uh, now we're all gonna get a sandwich.

Claire, where are we going and what are we doing?

Claire: Going to Walmart.

Michael: Why?

Claire: Because it's 7:06 on a Tuesday.

Michael: The real answer is that we're making cookies, and we need ingredients.

Claire: Why else are we going to Walmart Michael?

Michael: Is there another reason?

Claire: Yeah, there actually is though.

Michael: Uh, then I don't remember. Ohhh, because I got a haircut and now the blonde is gone, so we need to buy more bleach.

Claire: Blech.

Michael: Blech. That sounds really gross.

Claire: I know.

Michael: You wanna put some blech in my hair?

Claire: It's diabetes in a bag.

Michael: Sugar. Flour.

Claire: Vanilla.

Michael: Vanilla.

Claire: I feel like I'm forgetting something. Flour, baking soda, salt, butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar, vanilla extract, eggs, chocolate chips. Morsels, morsels. They're morsels.

Michael: Chocolate chips.

Claire: Morsels.

Michael: We just found Kristen, a wild Kristen in the Walmart. She's down there. Hey Kristen.

Kristen: Hey what?

Michael: Could you tell us where to find the butter?

Kristen: The butter is in the back.

Michael: The butter's in the back.

Kristen: It's on the same line as the orange juice.

Michael: It's on the same line as the orange juice.

Claire: (sigh) 'Kay. Thank you.

Michael: Thanks!

Kristen: Welcome!

Michael: What are you making?

Claire: Dinner!

Michael: Oh. What're you making?

Claire: A baby!

Stefan: She accidentally bought chicken breast with rib meat.

Michael: Is that bad?

Stefan: Actually most people really like the rib meat.

Michael: Most people really like the rib meat.

Claire: I don't though, it just feels fatty.

Stefan: It is fatty.

Michael: That's why people like it.

Stefan: That's why people like it.

Michael: That's why people like it.

Welcome to another exciting episode of I don't know how to bake, so Claire's gonna do it while I stand here and watch.

Claire: No! You're gonna help! (laughter) Please?

Most important thing when making chocolate chip cookies is you gotta separate your wets and your dries. Now butter is like, the most important factor. 'Cause if you get it too runny, then your cookies turn out bad. And if it's too stiff, then it takes forever to, like, actually stir/mix them.

Michael: Okay, but is butter a liquid or a solid?

Claire: It is a liquid.

Michael: Is it a wet or a dry?

Claire: It is a wet. In this case.

Michael: Okay. Okay, so how in this situation can I help?

Claire: Oh, you're gonna do most of the things.

Michael: I'm gonna do most of the things?

Claire: Mhmm. Microwave that.

Michael: Microwave this.

Claire: Mhmm.

Michael: Yes ma'am.

Claire: (laughter) For just a very small amount of time.

Michael: Okay. One second.

Claire: No, more than that.

Michael: It's done.

Claire: (laughter) Go like ten seconds.

Michael: Well, I already did it for one, so I should I just do it for nine?

Claire: No, do ten.

Michael: That's eleven seconds. (laughter)

Claire: Not done. Why are you smiling like that?

Michael: Oh, um, excuse me, I, you told me to do this!

Claire: Okay. (laughter)

Michael: How many seconds?

Claire: Do...

Michael: How many mississippis?

Claire: Do fifteen.

Michael: Fifteen mississippis.

Claire: Uh huh.

Michael: (shakes head)

Claire: What? (gasps) It's so good!

Michael: Oh, see, I'm the best microwaver.

Claire: See, look at this consistency. It's perfect.

Michael: Mmm, I better get a close up of this consistency.

Claire: Yeah. Actually, sometimes it's good to do the butter and sugar together.

Michael: I'm pretty sure you told me not to mix the wets and the dries.

Claire: I know, but I'm thinking about two different cookie methods now, and I don't know which one is better. Oh well, we'll just go with what I said originally. Look at how good this is!

Michael: Yeah, I know. I'm the best.

Claire: It looks like pudding.

Michael: I'm, I've had many years of practice with the microwave.

Claire: I believe that. But this is so good! Alright, please put the eggs in there.

Michael: (sigh)

Claire: That was actually really impressive.

Michael: I, okay, I don't know how to pour this. Or where to pour it.

Claire: Get, um, a spoon, 'cause you have to pack it in tightly.

Michael: (sigh) It's gettin' all over the place. Like on the counter and on the floor and...

Claire: (laughs)

Michael: In my shoes.

Claire: (laughs) Oh, Michael.

So the reason that I'm spooning the flour into the cup is that 'cause it adds a little bit more air. You don't want your flour to be, light, er tightly packed, you want it to be lightly packed.

Michael: Well the reason I'm spooning the brown sugar in, is because it needs to be tightly packed.

Claire: Good job.

Michael: And with the spoon, (laughs) I can pack it down.

Claire: My favorite thing about making chocolate chip cookies is that when you put that brown sugar in tightly packed, it makes a little sandcastle.

Michael: I feel like I don't have enough limbs to do this. I feel like octopuses would be good at cooking.

Okay, one teaspoon of baking soda.

Claire: Good job.

Michael: One teaspoon of saaaaaaaaaaalt.

Claire: Look at this! Do you see how fluffy it is though?

Michael: I mean... yeah, I guess, I don't really know what it's supposed to look like.

Claire: Make sure you get those clumps all de-clumped.

Michael: I'm working on it.

Claire: Alright.

Michael: I'm a good de-clumper.

Claire: So a checklist, flour? Check. (laughter) Baking soda?

Michael: Check.

Claire: 'Kay. Salt?

Michael: Check.

Claire: Butter, check. Granulated sugar, check. Brown sugar, check. Vanilla extract, eggs, now we just need chocolate chips. Cool.

Michael: Woah woah woah woah woah woah. This is the dry and that's the wet.

Claire: It's time.

Michael: Do you think Logan is having more fun watching all of this footage this time?

Claire: I don't know.

Michael: Wow.

Claire: That looks so good. Like, not actually appetizing, but it'll make good cookies. Michael, these are gonna be such good cookies! Oh my god! It's because of your butter technique.

Michael: (laughs)

Claire: Great job.

Michael: You're welcome.

Tastes like cookie dough.

Claire: Michael,

Michael: Mhmm?

Claire: This is really good cookie dough.

Michael: Okay.

Claire: And you made it. Don't you feel accomplished?

Michael: When I have my first kid, the doctor's gonna be like, 'Look, you made this!' and I'll be like, 'Yeah, alright.'

Claire: Yeah,

Michael: Cool.

Claire: Coulda bought one at the store.

Index looks terrified.

Michael: He just looks content. Right cat? Right.

So I take this ice cream scoop?

Claire: We don't have a cookie baller.

Michael: And then I scoop it?

Claire: Well, yeah, but that would be a little bit large, so think about an ideal cookie ball size. Oh man.

Michael: Is that a cookie size?

Claire: That's a little bit on the big side, but that's okay. These are, you know, they're our cookies, we do what we want.

Alright, so there's a very good chance that these will morph into one cookie, but we'll try it out.

Ooo! Look at that oddly shaped cookie mess.

Michael: Well, now what?

Claire: Wait for a little bit, let them sit, then we'll take 'em off.

Michael: (sigh) So much waiting!

Claire: Michael.

Michael: How long do they need to dry? I mean, cool?

(laughter)

Claire: That was one of the cuter things you've said. Um...

Michael: That? That's one of the cuter things I've said?

Claire: Yeah.

Michael: I haven't said many cuter things than that?

Claire: Well, it's just funny when you say things, like, wrong, or that are kind of stupid because you don't often say things that are incorrect or stupid, so when you do it's kinda funny. But it's cute.

Ahhh, I didn't think about, now we're gonna have all these cookies around.

Michael: (laughs) How did that part not cross your mind?

Claire: I just wanted to make cookies and eat some dough and then eat like one cookie.

Michael: This tastes like a cookie.

Claire: But is it good?

Michael: Yeah.

Claire: Oh, Michael. I'm never gonna make you kids because you'll just be like 'Eh, looks like a kid.'

Stefan: (laughs) Do you love it? 'Eh.'

Michael: Yeah.

Claire: Yeah, it looks like a kid.

Michael: I just don't understand why it's not okay to go through life just being mildly okay with everything.

Claire: Because I like to be excited about life.

Stefan: People like excitement, Michael. They like the emotional roller coaster.

Michael: I just like a, a, a, a middle level of consistency.

Claire: You're like Seattle's weather. Mild.

Stefan: I'm gonna call you Seattle's weather from now on.

Michael: That's a good nickname.

(laughter)

Claire: Really rolls off the tongue.

Stefan: Oh yeah, I'd really like you to roll off my tongue.

Michael: (laughs)