Putting Nuts In My Mouth
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Transcript[edit | edit source]
Brigham Young University
Hannah Siepert: I’m Hannah.
Whitney Empey: I’m Whitney.
Reid Empey: I’m Reid.
Hannah: And we’ve lived in the same town for, like, 3 years and have never met up until today!
Whitney: Yup! All ‘cause of Michael. And this is what we’re doing right now.
("Intro" plays over the opening title screen.)
The Chin's House – 9:38 AM PST
Michael Aranda: Merry Christmas!
Bryan Chin: (In a strange accent) Merry Christmas.
Michael: Merry Christmas!
Stefan Chin: Merry Christy boosty!
Michael: What is this?
Stefan: Dominant Species.
Bryan: (In a low voice) Oooh yeah...
Stefan: The iPad app / board game.
Katelyn Salem's Jeep
Michael: To show off how mega classy my family is, we’re about to have Christmas brunch at Denny’s.
Denny's
(Michael spins around in the full parking lot as he points at all the cars.)
Michael: There are way more people at Denny’s this morning than I expected there to be.
(Katelyn is holding the camera as they walk into the building.)
Michael: I... don’t see ‘em.
(Katelyn follows Michael as he walks to the back of the restaurant. Nathan Aranda and Natasha Zabat are sitting at a table.)
Michael: Hi, hi, hi.
Natasha Zabat: Hi.
Nathan Aranda: Oh hey...
(Michael and Nathan hug each other.)
Nathan: Good to see you.
Michael: How are you?
Nathan: Gooood.
(Michael points at a picture on the menu.)
Michael: "Honey Jalapeño Bacon Sriracha Burger." THAT sounds like it’s right up my alley.
(A plate with the burger on it is placed in front of Michael, followed by an empty plate and a "chomp" noise.)
Katelyn Salem's Jeep – 12:06 PM PST
Michael: How’d you feel about meeting my dad?
Katelyn: I like him. His voice reminded me of Mark Ruffalo.
Michael: My dad’s voice reminded you of Mark Ruffalo?
Katelyn: Mhm. He had lots of dad jokes, like you said.
Michael: Do we have similar mannerisms?
Katelyn: Uhhh, I didn’t really notice that.
Michael: Hm.
Katelyn: Did you notice?
Michael: Sometimes I catch myself doing things that are very... like my dad.
Katelyn: I didn't notice anything. Because his... his voice sounded like Mark Ruffalo, I kept imagining that it was Mark Ruffalo.
The Chin's House
Michael: If you are a person watching this video and you are young and you think that opening presents is the coolest thing that could possibly happen on Christmas... just wait. Just wait.
Stefan: I mean...
(Katelyn laughs.)
Stefan: I still think it’s the coolest thing that happens on Christmas.
Michael: Really? Because right now I’m more interested in taking a nap.
Stefan: That doesn’t mean that that’s the coolest thing that’s gonna happen!
Katelyn: Of any holiday nowadays, it’s been the food and then the passing out nap that’s been the best part.
Bryan Chin: Oh my.
(Michael chuckles.)
Michael: But, you know, when I was 7 years old, like—
Stefan: Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Michael: —the instant that you wake up, it’s like, “OH MY GOD!”
Stefan: It’s like—
Michael: “IT”S CHRISTMAS!”
Stefan: —hard to go to sleep. There’s always rituals around that.
Michael: Yeah...
Stefan: And then you wake up and you’re like, “Mom and Dad! Get the f*** up! It’s time to go!"
(Michael and Katelyn laugh.)
(Michael, Katelyn, and the Chin's begin to open their Christmas presents.)
Michael: “Tis the Season. To Michael, from Chin Family.” (In an excited Southern accent) Oh my goodness! A Chipotle gift card and a Panda Express gift card?! Well, that’s right up my alley!
Stefan: Oh it’s a box!
Michael: Oooh my Gooood.
Bryan: (Feigning surprise) Oh it’s a box!
Michael: What did you get Bryan? Is it a box?
Bryan: No.
Michael: (Excited Southern accent) Ohhhhh! Power Grid! That’s a good game!
Stefan: So foreign!
Michael: I really like playing that game!
(Diane Chin, Stefan, and Michael yell in excitement)
Michael: (To Stefan) What was in your box?
Stefan: A jacket.
Michael: A jacket?
Stefan: A North Face jacket.
Michael: Well it’s real cold in Montana.
Stefan: That’s what I’m sayin’.
(Bryan yawns loudly as he hands Michael a Christmas card.)
Michael: Oh, thank you. “Boy am I tired of putting nuts in my mouth. May your holidays be filled with mouthfuls of joy.”
(Michael chuckles.)
Michael: A Chipotle gift card?!
Stefan: Oh snap!
Michael: (Excited Southern accent) Oh dang! I’ll just put that with my other Chipotle gift card.
(Michael places the gift card with his two other gift cards, then cuts to him holding up another gift he just unwrapped.)
Michael: (Intensely) This is a screen cleaner kit that is also a giraffe.
(Bryan and Diane laugh.)
(Michael holds up a small bottle of hot sauce as he pans to the right to Katelyn.)
Michael: This is a gift from Katelyn. It’s “The Hottest (bleep) Sauce.”
(Katelyn, Bryan, and Diane laugh.)
Katelyn: I wanted to make sure I got the hottest one.
Stefan: Cool. Thanks.
Michael: You got one too?
Stefan: Yeah! The Hottest (bleep) Sauce.
Michael: (Excited Southern accent) I also got Cold Stone gift cards?! And a Do-min-o’s gift card?! Oh my god! I’m trying to lose weight in 2017, naw’m sayin’?
Stefan: I got you Chipotle!
Diane: I don’t know what you’re sayin’.
Michael: Yeah, that’s real nice.
Stefan: That one you can control caw-bohydrates.
Michael: Da.. salad. Da—Da salad is real nice at Chipotle.
(Bryan lifts a large, unwrapped box of ramen over his head.)
Byran: (In a high-pitched, excited yell) I got ramen!
Stefan: What?
Bryan: I got ramen! Woo hoo, baby! Hot ‘n spicy!
Katelyn Salem's Jeep – 3:17 PM PST
Michael: Next up on the Christmas Day to-do list is visiting my mom’s parents out in Palm Desert.
(Airy synth music plays over a shot of a small windmill farm in front of some mountains.)
Waiting in Line at the Guard House
Katelyn: This place is crazy. You have to check in. It's like a... going onto a military base or into a different country.
Security Officer: Hello.
Michael: Hello.
Security Officer: Can I help you?
Michael: Visiting Al and Dorene Melendrez.
Security Officer: Aranda?
Michael: Yup. Thank you.
Security Officer: You're welcome.
Al & Dorene Melendrez's House
Michael: We have, uh, Uncle David and Natalie. I haven’t seen Natalie in a very long time.
(The camera is placed across the room focusing on Rene Aranda and Nathan sitting at a table. Rene is drinking a glass of wine in the foreground while Nathan is looking down at the table in the background. A boom mic slowly emerges from the top of the screen toward Nathan's head.)
Dorene Melendrez: Bump him in the head.
David Melendrez: Yeah, just give him a thump.
(The boom mic moves closer to Nathan as someone pokes him in the face. Rene takes a slip of her wine and then laughs and tries not to spit it back out.)
Nathan: Hm?
(The boom mic rubs against Nathan’s hair and he looks up to notice it. Rene and David laugh. Nathan playfully flicks the boom mic. Rene makes fun of him by acting like a cat swatting at something in front of its face.)
Michael: Nathan what’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever gotten?
Nathan: You know there’s one I thought of immediately, but I don’t know if it’s the best, but I was the most excited about it. It was when I got the receipt for World of Warcraft. ‘Cause Dad bought it for me, but he bought it late so it didn’t get there in time for Christmas, so I had the receipt.
(The camera moves to a different room. Katelyn sits at the dining room table with Al and Dorene. Michael holds the boom mic across the table toward her.)
Michael: Hey Katelyn.
Katelyn: Yeah?
Michael: What’s, uh, one Christmas present that you remember from childhood that, like, really excited you and made your childhood?
Katelyn: I got a Lucky Bear Care Bear stuffed toy when I was... like, 5th or 6th grade that I was super excited about. My brother got it for me.
(The camera moves to face long ways down the dining room table. David, Natalie, and Natasha now sit at the table. Michael holds the boom mic in front of David toward Natalie.)
Michael: Hi Natalie. Natalie, what’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever gotten?
(Natalie makes an "I don't know" face and shrugs.)
David: Did you get that?
(Dorene laughs. Natalie looks at Sara Aranda, whose sitting across the table from her out of frame.)
Sara Aranda: (In a quiet, high pitched voice) I'm Natalie and I like Legos!
(Everyone laughs.)
(The camera moves again to point into the kitchen, where Sara stands next to the island counter as Michael holds the boom mic across the room toward her.)
Sara: I remember being ecstatic about a Baloo stuffed animal. From “The Jungle Book”? It was like this big. I remember being really happy.
(The camera moves to show a different angle of the kitchen through the same archway. Rene stands next to the island counter as Dorene stands to her left listening. Michael holds the boom mic toward her.)
Rene Aranda: I remember there was one year that Dad went all the f*** out, and he had... like, stuff hanging from the ceiling and he had hid some of the presents in the tree. Including I think it was Pokemon Snap?... was one of the Nintendo 64 games that we had gotten that year. And that, that changed my life man.
(The camera moves to show Natasha sitting on the couch in the living room. Michael holds the boom mic over the length of the couch toward her.)
Natasha: (Laughing) A purple bike that I got in elementary school. And it was also the first time I ever got in, like, really bad trouble from my mom.
Michael: How old were you?
Natasha: I don’t know. Maybe like, 5th— 4th grade? Around there? And I left the neighborhood, and I wasn’t supposed to, and she drove around in her minivan, like, screaming my name. ‘Cause it was before cell phones.
(The camera moves to point into the kitchen again. Patrick Hodge is scooping food out of a bowl at the island counter. Michael holds the boom mic across the island toward Patrick.)
Patrick Hodge: You know, I was thinking about it ever since you, like, asked the first person, and I can’t really, like, place one. I feel like... there was quite a few different ones. Like one time I had a boat that was pretty sick. Oh! Okay, probably the best one was— I, uh, uh— And it’s only because of the memory associated with it. It is like, we were in a, uh... um, middle school at the time or whatever, and my sister was like, “Dude, we can totally unwrap these, play with them the night before and then, like, re-wrap ‘em.” So I, like, I had a SICK remote control car, and we were in my sister’s room and I was just (intense) driving around in circles. YEAAAAH! We, like, got burnt out on it for a little bit, and then it was like “Ah (bleep).” So then we, like, re-wrapped them and everything; my dad had no idea. So it was probably, like, one of the best ones.
(An upbeat version of "Angels We Have Heard On High" plays over shots of Patrick putting a turkey in the oven, Rene laughing and talking with Sara in the kitchen, Nathan and Natasha talking in the dining room, David helping Natalie with something while they sit on the couch, Patrick and Sara talking in the kitchen, and Al walking through the kitchen up to Dorene.)
Michael: How’s Grandpa doing?
(The music continues to play under Dorene talking. Shots of Al sitting by himself, either watching TV or observing the party, and interacting with Nathan and Natasha are shown.)
Dorene Melendrez: Uh... (audible sigh) It’s um... just slow. Sometimes he’ll say something, and it’s very coherent, and it’s exactly what he meant to say. Usually it’s— he’s got the thought, it’s just the wrong words come out. He’s— knows what he wants to say. He has a question about something. He remembers “I meant to stop and get something.” He’ll remember other things, but then he can’t remember your name. He... doesn’t think he does well; he doesn’t think that he can talk. “I can’t talk, I can’t talk, so I won’t talk, I’ll just sit here.” You just, you know, spent five minutes telling me you couldn’t talk. And then, uh, sometimes, you know, perfectly clear comes out. It’s a— it’s a work in progress. We just had no idea that, that when, first thing that the nurse said, “Oh, he’s had a severe stroke, and it’s just you know, three to four months in rehab.” And I’m going, “Oh my god. Are you kidding me?” And it’s now been four and a half years. He feels okay. Takes a lot of naps... But, you know, hey, so do I. He’s... 79. He’ll be 80... I’m gonna be married to—
(Dorene laughs.)
Dorene: An old man! 80 years old, but then, I just turned 77. So... We’re— we’re gettin’ there. And this is the time of your life here we get all these crappy things.
(The music continues as everyone is seated facing the same direction on two couches with the Christmas tree in the middle of them. Sara dances in the background. David hops through the crowd to sit in his place in the family photo.)
Dorene: One thousand three. One thousand four. Stretch.
(Everyone smiles and the camera flashes.)
Michael: We did it! Yaaay!
(Michael and Dorene laugh.)
("Outro" plays over the end screen.)
References[edit | edit source]
- ↑ City found from Michael's Swarm feed.