Oreganian/Oregonian

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Episode Information[edit | edit source]

Date of video
February 15th, 2014
Date of upload
February 16th, 2014
Duration
5 minutes 33 seconds
Edited by
Michael Aranda
Appearances by
Michael Aranda
Katelyn Salem
Stefan Chin
Alan Lastufka
Nick Jenkins
Kristen Franklin
Laura Chernikoff

Location[edit | edit source]

Missoula, Montana

Transcript[edit | edit source]

Michael's Apartment

Michael: (Quietly) Kitty. You're a sphinx kitty.

(Water Running)

Michael: (Sigh) I look sixteen years old.

Kristen's House

Kristen Franklin: (Laughs)

Stefan Chin: Uhm

(Rock Music)

Kristen: There's a lot of beer, that I brought back from Canada

Michael: I feel like ... Where did you go?

Kristen: I went to Canada and Oregon and brought back respective beers from each location.

Michael: So you have Canadian beer and Oreganian?

Kristen: Gonian.

Michael: Oregonian beer?

Stefan: (Southern Twang) Oregonian.

Kristen: (Laughs) (Southern Twang) Oreganian.

Stefan: Portlandian. Portlandish.

Kristen: Yeah. You want to start with the ruby?

Stefan: Sure

Kristen: Ok. That's (inaudible) my favorite, from, uh, McMenamins.

Stefan: That's very light.

Kristen: Yeah

Stefan: Yeah.

Kristen: Yeah.

Michael: Do you like it?

Stefan: Mmmhmm.

Laura Chernikoff: Yeah. It's good.

Kristen: It's good. Cause I was gonna be made otherwise.

Laura: Get kicked out.

Michael: I'm eating a salad.

Alan Lastufka: (inaudible)

Michael: (High groan) I just got my finger in the shot. Ahhhhhh.

Nick Jenkins: Professional videographer.

Michael: It's time for another exciting episode of Battlestar Galactica.

Someone: Battlestar Galactica!

(Various Cheers)

Michael: Starring Stefan Chin!

Stefan:Bayeeee.

Laura: The Chin is in.

Michael: La-ura Chernikoff!

(People chuckling)

Michael: Kristen Franklin! Alan Lastufka! Nick Jenkins!

Stefan: Ahhh.

Michael: And me.

Nick: Boooo.

Kristen: Move this out of arm's reach.

Michael: You want me to knock this over?

Kristen: Noo.

Michael: Here's what I am. I wonder what everybody else is.

(Gasps and uneasy noises)

Michael: We're halfway through. Uhm, how do we, oh, cause we have, we have two and two. We need to get to eight. Uh, Stefan is not a cylon.

Stefan: We know of.

Michael: That we know of.

Stefan: But, I'm some kind of sympathizer, so I got sent to the brig.

Michael: So who else is a cylon? Hmmm, hmmm, hmmmm! Cylon's drink beer, I bet.

Laura: Yeah.

Michael: We're running pretty low on population. Wha, more beer?

Kristen: Stefan.

Everyone: Woah!

Michael: Everyone's gettin' all, whew.

Laura: Lot of cylons.

Alan: Guess I am the only human here.

Nick: He's not drinking.

Michael: I'm not drinkin' nothing.

Alan: Oh, ok.

Kristen: You were drinking Rockstar.

Michael: That's not beer.

Kristen: But maybe only cylons drink Rockstar. Alan!

Alan: Yes, comrade!

(Laughter)

Michael: The cylons are out. Alan is a cylon. Kristen is a cylon.

Kristen: My bad.

Nick: This makes sense.

Michael: The cylons are dating!

(Laughter)

Michael: We're down to one population.

Kristen: Hell yeah.

Alan: I took em' out.

Kristen: Suck it.

Michael: Wow.

Alan: (Singing) Suck it.

Stefan: Wow, I'm not even in the freaking, oh, I didn't even draw this much. Damn it.

Nick: (Chuckling) Stefan is a little drunk.

Alan: More than a little.

Kristen: Little bit.

Stefan: Ahh, just a little. Uhhh.

Kristen: I mean, knowing how I feel, I can't imagine.

Michael: It's just down to the wire here. What's Kristen going to do?

Kristen: I'm going to be, I'm going to be very nervous because Michael's filming me. Uhm, I guess....

Michael: Let me just zoom in.

Kristen: (Laughing) I'm going to attack something. I'm very sure.

Alan: It might be Michael.

Stefan: (Uneasy squealing sound).

Kristen: Uh, I mean, my eyes hurt. Who the f*** gets in on it that close? Uhm, I'm gonna do the thing Alan said. And attack.

Alan: K, so you have to move here.

Kristen: I have to move there.

Alan: And then, roll to attack.

Stefan: Oh my god.

Alan: I don't know what you want, but high I guess.

Nick and Alan: Four.

Nick: Does that do anything?

Kristen: Michael!

Michael: That does no..uhhh, that is nothing.

Kristen: Sh*t balls.

Alan: Ok, we tried.

Kristen: I tried.

Nick: Are we gonna, are we gonna risk?

Stefan: That's a good question. Uhm.

Michael: Well, I feel like...

Kristen: Are you gonna risk it for the biscuit?

Michael: I could, I could go to weapons control and get rid of that and then and theoretically, we're not super...

Stefan: Super in danger.

Michael: In danger of losing population.

Nick: Here's the thing. You don't have a lot of skill cards. Well, you kinda do. Nobody else does. And...

Stefan: If we get a bad crisis...

Nick: If we get a bad crisis and it takes a population, then we're screwed. I feel like we need a Hail Mary. That's my attitude right now.

Stefan: I don't know.

Michael: Ok. So I'm attacking that little dude over there.

Nick: Uhm, nope.

Stefan: Oh my.

Michael: I didn't do any.

Stefan: That's okay, that's okay. Crisis is the most important part.

Michael: So now, crisis card. Whew.

Stefan: Is it good?

Michael: It has a jump.

Stefan: Ok.

Michael: Uhm, if we lose, we get minus one morale.

Kristen: Which takes you down to one.

Stefan: (Intensely) That's fine! We have two morale!

Laura: My turn.

Michael: We're so close to jumping.

Laura: Oh my god, Nick!

Michael: We just need to, woah, haja, haji (screaming). We just jumped.

Stefan: The humans won for the first time.

Nick: Woo, woo.

Michael: I think, I think, ha, eh, we, we, we won.

Stefan: We did it!

Michael: The humans won!

Kristen: Only because you guys were playing wrong for the majority of the time.

Stefan: Only to be, to be fair, this was the first time we actually played the game correctly.

(Laughter)

Nick: Uhhh.

Laura: Makes a difference, apparently.

Kristen: It does.

Stefan: Apparently.

Kristen: To play the game the correctly means the humans stand a chance.

Stefan and Laura: Yes.

Stefan: We do have a chance.

Nick: But, we also did start with all of the, these things turned all the way up.

(Chorus of No's)

Kristen: We started at default.

Nick: Oh my god, we're bad asses.

Alan: Yeah

(Laughter)

Stefan: To do that.

Kristen: I'm gonna need a slow clap for that. Good job humans.

Nick: This is a big day guys. The humans finally won.

Michael's Apartment

Michael: For the last, like, three hours now, I've been working on what I hope will become the opening track of my album. And, it's sounding pretty cool. Uh, I'm gonna keep it a secret for now, but I'll let you look at it. Isn't it pertty. Mmmhmmm. Anyway, I think it's sleep time. So, goodnight.