Not Spumoni
Not Spumoni | ||||||||||||||||||||||
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Transcript[edit | edit source]
Boston, Massachusetts
Lyanne: Hi, I’m Lyanne and I am on my way to Nerdcon: Nerdfighteria in Boston.
Bus Announcement: Hynes Convention Center.
Lyanne: And you’re watching WhatImDoingRightNow.
("Intro" plays over the opening title screen.)
Katelyn Salem's Jeep – 9:45 AM MST
Michael Aranda: Good morning. Today... I have to catch up on Complexly stuff that, uh... wasn’t happening while we were in New York and Boston. Tomorrow Synema Studios has a presentation at the Chamber of Commerce here in Missoula to try to win some business. So today at lunch, Todd and I need to go over what our presentation is going to look like. And then today after Complexly is done I’m having dinner with Allie Knight, whom you met a few days ago in Boston. After that, tonight is the, uh... Switch launch, right?
Katelyn Salem: Some late night gaming, maybe?
Michael: Maybe. It’s not the best for a Thursday night, but, you know ...
Katelyn: No...
(Katelyn laughs.)
Michael: Desperate times, desperate measures.
West Spruce Street – 5:57 PM MST
Michael: Okay! Work day’s over... ish. There were a few things that I didn’t finish that I wanted to finish. Maybe I’ll do those later. Right now, Katelyn and I are walking over to the Iron Horse, which is a... bar grill place just down the street. We’re gonna meet Glenn and Allie, Allie’s boyfriend, Todd. I’m trying to stay on the low carb train. So I’m not sure yet what I’m gonna eat. I’ll have to look at the me-noo.
Katelyn: They have... good burgers.
Michael: I would also like to go jogging. We need to get a vlog uploaded. Still so many things to do tonight before the (excitedly) Nintendo Switch.
Iron Horse Bar & Grill
Michael: The dinner crew is—We have Glenn and Todd and Allie and Steve, whom I have come to understand is—
Allie Knight: My other half.
Michael: —Allie’s partner in crime.
Steve Opilo: That’s right.
Michael: Is that—? Okay. That’s a good to describe it. And Katelyn—texting at the dinner table!
Synema Studios Office – 9:03 PM MST
Michael: Daaang! What a dinner that was! Mmm.
Katelyn: You got a burger with no bun. I’m so proud of you.
Michael: I sure did get that.
Katelyn: Mhm.
Michael: We’re facing a dilemma right now. The vlog we are exporting right now is called “Hand-Tossed Spicconi”, but I don’t know how to spell “spicconi”.
(Katelyn laughs.)
Michael Aranda's Apartment
(Kelsey is sitting on Michael's bed.)
Michael: Kelsey. I have an important question for you. How would you spell the word “spicconi”?
Kelsey: Spicconi?
Michael: Yeah.
Kelsey: Not spumoni?
Michael: Nope.
Kelsey: What is spicconi?
Michael: It’s a... new word.
Kelsey: What is it?
Michael: I don’t know.
Kelsey: Did you make it up?
Michael: Yup.
Kelsey: What does it mean?
Michael: I don’t know.
Kelsey: Is it a verb?
Michael: No.
Kelsey: Gonna get spicconi-ed?
Michael: It’s—It’s definitely a noun.
Kelsey: Hold on.
(Kelsey picks up a notebook and pencil from off the floor.)
Kelsey: (Dumb-founded) How would I spell “spicconi”?
(Kelsey writes out her spelling of the word.)
Kelsey: That doesn’t look like a real word, though.
Michael: How’d you spell it?
Kelsey: S-P-U-C-H-O-N-I. Spuh-cho-nee, phonetically. Is that correct? How did you spell it?
Michael: My current favorite is S-P-A-C-C-O-N-E.
Kelsey: Oh, O-N-E.
Michael: Oh I spelt it with an E, but maybe and I would be better.
Kelsey: (Chuckling) Oh ho ho. Spicconi.
(Kelsey writes out Michael's way of spelling the word.)
Kelsey: Spuh-cho-nee. Which one do you like better? Spuchoni. Spaccone.
Michael: I think with an I looks better. The reason I went with an E is because there was a guy on my cross country team in high school with the last name Chiccone, and... it... just ended in E. Didn’t have an I.
Kelsey: I don’t... see the C-C making a “CH” sound.
Michael: Really?
Kelsey: What word does that make a “CH” sound in?
Michael: That’s like... an Italian thing.
Kelsey: Yeah. I’m assuming this is an “English” word.
Michael: I think in the context that it got used—
Kelsey: All—All sorts of double letters is Italian.
Michael: Uh... it—it seems Italian-y, in context.
Kelsey: Italian is double letters... ‘Cause it’s—it’s double vowels and it’s double... ‘Cause like... My mom’s maiden name Giannetto is G-I-A-N-N-E-T-T-O.
Michael: Mhm.
Kelsey: That’s very Italian and very double letter-y.
Michael: I think I’m gonna chance the E to an I.
Kelsey: Okay, I’m glad I could help you.
Michael: Thanks.
Kelsey: Um... (Whispering) What does it mean? What does it mean?!
Michael: Uh... you’ll just have to watch the vlog that goes live today and you’ll find out.
Kelsey: From Christmas?
Michael: Yup. December 23rd.
Kelsey: It’s March... 2nd?
Michael: Shhhhh!
Both: Shhhh!
Michael: Kelsey!
Kelsey: (Worried) Uh huh?
Michael: Do you wanna go get a Switch? Hey nice shirt.
Kelsey: Yes.
(Kelsey and Michael laugh.)
Index: (Loudly) Meow!
Michael: Oh wow!
Clark Fork Lane – 9:52 PM MST
Michael: Kelsey and I are walking to Walmart right now, but she cut across the grass. I’m just walking along the sidewalk because I’m trying to make my path as long as possible to increase the number of steps that my watch records today. Trying to be more active. There’s the Walmart. The happiest place on Earth.
Walmart
(Marcus makes a surprised noise as Kelsey sneaks up behind him and pokes him. Marcus turns around with an exaggeratedly inquisitive face and Kelsey laughs.)
Kelsey: Hi.
(Kelsey hugs Marcus from behind.)
Marcus Schlueter: Ugh.
Oh, hey.
Michael: Hi.
Marcus: Am I on the internet?
Michael: (Smiling) Not yet.
(Marcus laughs.)
(Kelsey, Marcus, Michael, and two people behind them stand in line next to the TV display. The camera is sitting on the floor of a perpendicular aisle pointed at them.)
Marcus: Pokémon games fall on a spectrum. On the one side we’ve got—
Michael: They are having a—a very, uh... in-depth, heated argument about Pokémon games right now.
(An unknown woman in line behind the group laughs.)
Kelsey: Marcus and I have very heated, in-depth conversations about any (laughing) video game.
Marcus: It stops being an argument as soon as we agree that we’re looking at the same data, right? Let’s make sure our data sets match up. Okay. So let’s build a spectrum. On the one side – I don’t think either of us argue – on the purest part, uh, side of the spectrum we’ve got the Reds,—
Kelsey: Greens.
Marcus: —and the Suns and the Moons.
Kelsey: ‘Kay. ‘Kay.
Marcus: Green if you’re in Japan, I guess. Blue if you’re an American.
Kelsey: Yep.
Marcus: On the opposite end of the spectrum you have things that are barely Pokémon, just part of the franchise. Like Trozei. Puzzle League.
Unknown woman: —what that is.
Marcus: We—right—okay.
Unknown woman: What about the Pokémon Trading Card Game?
Marcus: (Trying not to get too much into it) Wa huh. Ok, like...
Kelsey: That’s a different beast!
Marcus: Sequel discussion. Let’s put a pin in that.
Kelsey: Yeah.
Unknown woman: I want another sequel to that!
Marcus: We’re gonna be here for a while. Let’s—Let’s—Let’s make a middle point to have us—help us better apply stuff. Middle point... Let’s call the middle point Pokémon Stadium for the sake of argument for now.
(Michael creeps forward toward the camera with his hand out.)
Michael: I don’t think I have enough... record time for this.
(Michael, Marcus, and Kelsey are now sitting on the ground.)
Michael: Marcus.
Marcus: Yes!
Michael: I have a very important question for you.
Marcus: —s. Shot!
Michael: How would you spell the word “spicconi”?
(Marcus makes amused laughing noises.)
Marcus: Oh man. “Spicconi”?
Michael: Yeah.
Marcus: What is that?
Kelsey: (Laughing) I don’t know.
Michael: It’s a noun. That’s all I can give you.
Marcus: Well... S-P-I-C-H-O-N-I.
Kelsey: That’s close to what I did.
Michael: Okay.
Marcus: Or maybe S-P-E. But I—I’m gonna go with S-P-I, though.
Michael: Okay.
Marcus: Oh, I’m clearly wrong, but I’m just so curious.
Michael: There is no right answer.
Marcus: There is no right answer?
Michael: Yeah. It’s not a real word.
Kelsey: It’s a made up word.
Marcus: Oh cool. You made—You made up a word and now you’re trying to decide how to spell it?
Michael: Yes.
Marcus: What is the definition of this word?
Michael: It doesn’t have one.
Marcus: It doesn’t have one yet?
Michael: All we know is that it’s a noun.
Marcus: I like this. I like attacking this from this direction. Normally you find a thing that doesn’t have a name and you name it. Now we have a name and we need to find a thing for it.
Michael: From the context in which the noun became... a thing, we know that it is possible to have a “hand-tossed spicconi”.
Kelsey: I think it might be food. Spiccon-ee.
Marcus: It might be hand-tossed food.
11:35 PM MST
Michael: We’ve got, uh... 25 minutes left.
Marcus: 25 minutes left?! Can’t wait!
(Marcus opens the 3DS he's holding.)
Marcus: I’m gonna throw this in the garbage can! ‘Cause I’m gonna have a Switch now!
Kelsey: This is obsolete!
Marcus: Deal with (laughing) it!
(Michael points the camera forward toward the counter and pans the camera down the line as we speaks.)
Michael: The line starts over there, comes down this way, goes down that way. Kelsey found some candy.
Kelsey: Oh! For Katelyn! I got candy for Katelyn.
(Kelsey holds up a Milka Oreo candy bar.)
Kelsey: I wanted just Milka, but... apparently it has to come with Oreo.
Walmart Employee: (Yelling from the counter) —got Skylanders Imaginators, if you want—
(Someone starts drumming excitedly on the a box.)
Marcus: Oooo, Skylanders.
Michael: We got 5 minutes. 5 minutes, Marcus!
Kelsey: What’d he say?
Marcus: They’ve got Skylanders Imaginators.
(Michael pans the camera to Kelsey, but she puts her hand on the lens to push it away.)
Kelsey: I’m crying—No!
Michael: Why are you crying?
Marcus: You’re not crying.
Kelsey: Well I was.
Marcus: You just have healthy, reflective eyes.
Michael: Why a—Why were you crying?
Marcus: —eye white are still totally white.
Kelsey: Because you said a nice thing!
Michael: Oh.
Todd Williams: Oh.
Michael: Sorry.
(Kelsey laughs softly.)
Marcus: He was a real charmer.
Marcus: Michael off camera... is just as smooth as Michael on camera.
Michael: Like, physically?
Kelsey: If—
Marcus: Yeah, probably also that.
Kelsey: Textured?
12:01 AM MST
Michael: The time has come. It’s 12 o’ something. Twelve oh one. Are transactions happening up there? I can’t tell.
(Kelsey carries the camera down the aisle.)
Kelsey: Hello vlog! Um, Michael wants to know if there’s transactions. Look at that! There are! There’s so many transactions! (To Michael) Is this how you do it? Is this how you become a vlogger, Michael? Do I need to hold it at— (Pained) How do you hold it? This is uncomfortable.
Michael: My hand is big enough to do this, though.
Kelsey: My hand is barely big enough to do... the skinny way.
Marcus: Look at Kelsey’s little hands!
Michael: We’re getting close to the front of the line!
(Marcus breathes heavily in excitement.)
Michael: What are you feeling right now Marcus?
(Marcus breathes out heavily in excitement.)
Marcus: (Calmly) I f—I feel good. It’s b—I feel really good. It’s been 3 years in the making. I c—I can’t wait. It’s hard to put into words. (Giggling) I’m really excited!
(Michael is at the counter.)
Walmart Employee: Alright, here’s your receipt.
Michael: Okay. This is my receipt.
Employee: And your console.
(The Walmart employee hands Michael a plastic bag with the Nintendo Switch box in it.)
Michael: And here’s the console.
Employee: Oh my goodness.
Michael: Woah.
Employee: Thank you very much for coming in today.
Michael: Thank you!
Todd: Boom.
Michael: Bam!
Todd: Boom.
Michael: Bam!
Marcus, how do you feel?
Marcus: It’s hard to put into words! I don’t wanta embarass myself in front of the internet, but as soon as you turn that camera off (excitedly) I’m gonna start screaming!
Michael: Okay, the camera off! Wink, wink.
(Marcus breathes in heavily.)
Marcus: But I’m in public. I don’t want to disrupt the shoppers.
(Michael points the camera behind them at an empty aisle.)
Michael: All the shoppers.
(The group is now at the pick-up desk.)
Michael: Kelsey’s gettin’ her Switch!
(Kelsey turns around quickly toward the camera.)
Kelsey: Yeah!
You’re name is Kale!
Kale: It is!
Kelsey: Do you like the food kale?
Kale: It’s okay.
Michael: Do you like the name Kale?
Kale: Yes.
(Kale chuckles.)
Marcus: Nice.
Kelsey: I need to put things down so that I can hooold it.
Michael: Here is it.
(Kelsey quietly yells in excitement as she rubs the sides of the box and smiles at the camera. Marcus gasps.)
(Kelsey is knealing down next to a chair next to the counter on which she has opened the Switch box. She takes the screen out of the plastic wrapping.)
Kale: —all of our preorder. That’s all they sent us.
(Kelsey turns the screen over in her hands.)
Kelsey: Oh my gosh!
(Kelsey joyously laughs. She turns the Switch on.)
Kelsey: Oh! Oh! I gotta put the things on you!
(Kelsey takes the Joy-Cons out of the plastic wrap.)
Michael: (Amused) You’re doing this in Walmart?
Kelsey: (Joyously) Yeah, why not?! I can play it on the way home!
(The Joy-Cons click into place on the sides of the screen.)
Marcus: —drive me home and—
(Marcus laughs.)
Kale: Get you an Uber.
Kelsey: Oh my god it feels so good!
Kale & Marcus: Yeah.
Michael Aranda's Apartment
(Michael is sitting at the dining table. He's holding the Nintendo Switch box while the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Special Edition box sits on the table before him facing the camera.)
Michael: This is the Nintendo Switch. I am not going to do an unboxing of that.
(Michael sets aside the Nintendo Switch box.)
Michael: But! We are going to open up the... special edition of Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild!
(The box creaks as Michael opens it. He pulls out a black cardboard holder and a blue tray, both of which are upside-down.)
Michael: Okay. I fear I may have opened this upside-down. I’m just gonna put this stuff back in its place and pretend like that’s how I found it. (Fake surprised) Oh wow! Look at this packaging!
Kelsey: Oooo.
(Michael turns the black cardboard holder over.)
Michael: In this... we have... Breath of the Wild carrying case for the Switch.
(Michael holds the carrying case up in front of himself.)
Michael: I can look (emphasis) very fashionable... walking around like this. We have the game itself. We have... the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild sound selection. Uh... a map, of some sort. I... don’t feel like unraveling that right now. And a... a Breath of the Wild coin. Thus concludes the unboxing—
(Kelsey chuckles.)
Michael: —of the Breath of the Wild special edition.
("Outro" plays over the end screen.)