Liquid Cat Poo

Episode Information

Date of video

January 28th, 2014

Date of upload

January 29th, 2014

Duration

5 minutes 57 seconds

Edited by

Michael Aranda

Appearances by

Michael Aranda

Katelyn Salem

Stefan Chin

Kristina Horner

Joe Homes

Hank Green

Location

Missoula, Montana

Michael Aranda's Apartment

Walmart

Qdoba Mexican Grill

Hank Green's House

Transcript

Michael's Kitchen

Michael Aranda: Katelyn was vacuuming earlier, and so the cat ran into the corner. And it’s been... I don’t know, an hour?

Katelyn Salem: Yeah, at least an hour.

Michael: And he’s still just cowering in the corner.

Katelyn: I think its cause the vacuum is right there.

Michael: He doesn’t want to walk past it.

Katelyn: And he doesn’t want to (laughing) pass it.

Michael: Here, I’ll move it for you.

( Vacuum crashes against cabinet )

Michael: Look! Your exit is free!

Michael's Living Room

Michael: Speaking of cats, they pooped right there... and I’m... trying to clean it but it’s not coming up very well. So I’m just letting it soak in the— in the soapiness. Soaking in soap. Poop. Poopy soaking soap.

Katelyn: It was hard. It was like— There was like a crust of poop stuck in the carpet and I had to cut it out with scissors before you were able to, um... wash it properly. And even now it’s still not coming out that well.

Michael's Bathroom

Michael takes the top off of the carpet cleaner tank.

Michael: We’re about to see what the thingy picked up out of the carpet.

( Katelyn chuckles )

Michael: It already looks pretty nasty. It smells too.

Michael dumps the water from the carpet cleaner tank into the bathtub.

Katelyn: Oh god, it’s so gross!

Stefan Chin: (Faintly) Ooooohh.

Katelyn: (Laughing) Okay.

Michael: Why is it so hairy?!

Stefan: Ugh!

Katelyn: That’s just...

The last remnants plop out of the carpet cleaner tank.

Michael: Oh! It—

Katelyn: Eeeww!

Michael: Ugh! God!

Katelyn: (Laughing) Eeeww.

Michael: What— Oh, Jesus!

Katelyn: And it all goes down the drain. That’s gonna be a joy to clean out.

Michael: Ew. Look at… this!

Michael shows the camera that black goopy stuff still at the bottom of the carpet cleaner tank.

Katelyn: (Grossed out) Yeah. That’s... That’s liquid cat poo, that’s what that is.

( Michael breathes out heavily in disgust )

Michael's Living Room

Michael: I just got a text from a very special somebody saying that they are on their way... to our house. Who could the special guest be? I don’t know!

Katelyn: Am I allowed to say?

Michael: No!

Katelyn: Okay. Cause I know. Shhh!

Michael: It’s a secret.

Michael: The State of the Union Address is about to start, so everybody’s walking around and... Oh, that girl just kissed that guy!

( Katelyn breathes in heavily in fake shock )

Katelyn: Scandal.

Michael: Are you read to listen to Obama talk?

Katelyn: Yes.

Michael: Which president devi— Aw! There was a typo in “televised”, but I— I may have missed it.

These two guys right here… I don’t think they like each other very much.

Kristina and Joe's Room

Michael: Guess who’s here?!

Kristina Horner: C— Oh. Waaa!

Joe Homes: Hello!

Michael: Hey!

Joe: We made it!

Michael: You thought I was filming with the back camera for a sec, huh?

Kristina: Yeah. I was all ready and then...

Joe: Yeah.

Michael: Sorry.

Kristina: Yup.

( Joe and Kristina laugh )

Michael: Uh, Kristina and Joe are here for a week-ish?

Kristina: Couple days, yeah.

Michael: Little less?

Joe: Yeah.

Michael: Um, so we’re gonna have some fun adventures in Missoula.

Kristina: Mmhmm.

Stefan: Going to Walmart!

Kristina: Yeah!

Michael: Starting with a trip to (laughing) Walmart!

Joe: Starting with Walmart!

Walmart Parking Lot

Katelyn: (Confidently) Oh, I can fit so much in my trunk!

Walmart

Michael: We’re picking up a... Hello Kitty trash can for Stefan’s bathroom.

Stefan: Heeell yeah.

Michael: You excited?

Stefan: Hell yeah. I’m gonna through my trash in here.

( Katelyn laughs )

Qdoba Parking Lot

Michael: So this is my first time back at Qdoba since they... decided not—

Stefan: Since this morning?

( Kristina laughs )

Michael: not to serve me that one time last week.

( Kristina gasps )

Kristina: What?!

Joe: Were you, like, over the legal limit or something?

( Michael and Stefan laugh )

Michael: No, it was— It was like 20 minutes before they closed and they had wrapped everything up already.

Kristina and Joe: Ooohh.

Michael: But the sign was still on! It still said open!

Hank Green's House

Michael: We’re playing Spaceteam, which I guess is the closest you can get to being on a Star Trek vessel.

Joe: That is definitely doomed to die.

( Michael chuckles )

Hank Green: (In a Russian accent) Yes, we lost, but... Cancel subscriptions!

( Joe laughs )

Michael: Turn on H Loop!

Joe: Cycle Hemicage!

Krisitina: H loop is on. Supercue to 3!

Katelyn: Enable Delta Slot!

Joe: Supercue to 3.

Michael: Cycle Hemicage!

Kristina: Enable Delta Slot.

Joe: Delta Slot on!

Michael: A— Anyone got a Hemi— Hemicage to cycle?

Hank: Cancel subscriptions!

Katelyn: Zero fluids!

Kristina: Oh yeah, sorry.

Hank: (Monotone urgency) Cancel subscriptions.

Kristina: Warm arwhips.

Michael: Subscriptions canceled! Supercu— Oh, we did it!

( Kristina laughs )

Joe: Psh! Those subscriptions were holding us back. I guess.

Hank: Data funnel.

Kristina: Zo—

Joe: Mince kiloblade!

Michael: Weak Node to 3.

Joe: Weak Node to 3.

Katelyn: Prime Cut to 1!

Kristina: (Inaudible)

Hank: Enable Theta Rudder!

Michael: Protoclaw hit Heat.

Joe: Enable Subsucker!

( Joe laughs )

Kristina: Weak Node to 6.

Katelyn: Prime Cup to 1.

Joe: Weak Node to 6!

Hank: Katelyn what?

Michael: Anyone got the Protoclaw?

Katelyn: Prime Cup to 1.

Joe: Unlock B Bolt!

Michael: Protoclaw? Protoclaw? Anyone got a Protoclaw?

Kristina: Kappa Chain to 2.

Joe: (Affirming) Kappa Chain to 2!

Michael: No one got a Protoclaw?

Joe: Unlock B Bolt!

Michael: Okay.

Hank: Enable Afttackle!

( Joe laughs )

Michael: Turn on the Cyc— Cycloslime.

Joe: (Laughing) That— That sounds like a euphemism.

Katelyn: Weak Node to 5!

Kristina: Oh, got it.

Joe: (Laughing) Weak Node to 5!

Kristina: Prime Cup to 0.

Joe: Engage Problade!

Michael: Prime Cup to 3.

Kristina: Weak Node to 5. Oh! Ac— activate Loop Plug.

Katelyn: Disengage Cycloslime.

Joe: Engage Problade!

Michael: Mince Kiloblade.

Joe: Loop Plug on.

Hank: Woo!

Joe: Woo-hoo!

Katelyn: Yeah!

( Michael laughs )

Michael's Apartment

Michael: We are now engaged in a rousing game of Deadwood.

( Joe laughs )

( Kristina makes a whooshing noise )

Joe: Rousing! I’ve got some wanted posters.

Kristina: It’s... my turn.

Michael: What’s Kristina gonna do?

Kristina: I pulled my dudes out of the mine.

Michael: Oh you already did. It’s my turn!

Kristina: (Laughing) Yeah.

Michael: What’s Michael gonna do? I’m gonna take this dude, and I’m gonna put it...

( Pandora commercial begins )

Michael: I’m gonna listen to this commercial on Pandora radio. Shhh. Um...

( Joe and Kristina laugh )

Michael: What do I wanna do? Uh... Uh...

( Michael flicks the corner of the game piece repeatedly )

Michael: Man. Let’s... Let’s... Let’s go to the General Store.

Joe: Cool.

Michael: So I take a dollar.

( Kristina growls )

Michael: Where is there a dollar? Okay, dollar. Um, and then I can move... this guy? Somewhere?

Stefan: Mhm.

Michael: So he’s gonna go... somewhere. He’s gonna go to the other General Store. So I’ll take a dollar.

Joe: Oh nice!

Michael: Thanks. That’s my turn.

Stefan: Then... Can you move this one (laughing) then?

Joe: It seems like it.

Kristina: Yeah, actually, you can.

Michael: Oh shit. I didn’t even realize that.

Stefan: Ho!

Michael: So I’ll take this guy and I will, um... go to... th...

Joe: (Excitedly) Go to the casino.

Michael: I could just go to the Town Hall and end the game right now.

Stefan: Dat’s true.

Kristina: Yeah.

Michael: Let’s do it!

Stefan: I think— Oh sheeeet.

Kristina: Oh I get two dollars!

Michael's Balcony

Michael: It’s snowing.