Jacked

Episode Information

Date of Video

April 18th, 2015

Date of Upload

May 30th, 2015

Duration

15 minutes 29 seconds

Edited by

Michael Aranda

Logan George

Appearances by

Michael Aranda

Stefan Chin

Claire Grosvenor

Brought to you by

Shay Nieman

Judson Howie

Location

Missoula, Montana

University of Montana

McDonald's

IHOP

Weather

Clear

High: 66°F/19°C

Low: 36°F/2°C

Humidity: 50%

Anthropometry

Weight: 175.8 lbs/79.7 kg

Body Fat: 19.8%

Heart Rate: 58 bpm

Blood Pressure: 117/76 mmhg

2015 Statistics

Distance Jogged: 61.2 mi/98.5 km

Flights: 11

Bacon Slaps: 5

Hikes to the M: 3

Pizzas Consumed: 20

Visits to HuHot: 8

Visits to Chipotle: 2

Transcript

Michael's Apartment

Michael: You're so tolerant, you know. You're even purring right now, you're weird. I finished my math homework, um, but I was not able to finish my computer science assignment exam quiz thing, uh, I guess it's part of the midterm, so it's a little bit of a bigger deal than a quiz, but, uh, I wasn't able to finish it. I turned it in, like, thirty seconds before it was due and it was still not done. So that kinda sucks. I hope that doesn't affect my grade too heavily. After that was done, I spent probably five hours, uh, working on a vlog. Just one. It was one of the travel vlogs that has a bunch of epic footage in it. Um, most of that time was spent writing music for it. But that's uploading now and it is, what time is it? It's 6:30 in the morning. Claire's bikini competition thing is today, so I'll probably try to get some sleep and then go to that. Get to see a bunch of, uh, fitness-y men and women with really, really dark spray tans. Right cat? Right. Oh dear.

In Michael's Car

Michael: I just arrived at school, uh, this is where Claire's, uh, bikini competition thing is happening.

At Claire's Competition

Michael: There are a lot of, uh, scantily clad humans running around this building right now. So this is the list of all the events that happen today. They started this at 9 o'clock, it's like 10:30 and they're right here. Claire doesn't go until here.

Unknown Man: Go Claire!

(cheering and shouting)

Michael: How do you feel about what happened?

Claire: It was really fun. I had a good time.

Unknown Man: You looked like you were having a good time.

Claire: Yeah.

Unknown Man: That's, that's the key.

Claire: When I first went out there though for the first class, and then we were like standing out there posing, and then they asked us to do things, and I was like, 'oh I forgot, this is what we do, we don't just stand here the whole time, we have to like turn.' So I was like 'oh god, right, what do I do?'

In Stefan's Car

Michael: I had resolved to do better when it came to eating things, but then Stefan

Stefan: Hey!

Michael: forced me to go to McDonald's.

Stefan: No, that is not what happened.

Michael: Look, you can see the apostrophe s up there.

Stefan: Apostrophe s? Oh, oh yeah. Um, you know we were, you were maybe hungry, I was hungry, we were both indecisive, it takes two to tango, Michael. I'm not the only one culpable here.

Michael: I didn't tango.

Michael's Garage

Okay, we're gonna put my new tires on the mustang. I'd show you what the old ones look like, but they're still on the car. This is what the new ones look like. We need to jack up the car. Are you proud of my jack purchase?

Stefan: I don't know.

Michael: I got it from Auto Zone, I didn't even go to Walmart.

Stefan: Two ton, one guarantee year.

Michael: This has a lifetime warranty.

Stefan: It comes with a guarantee year.

Michael: But it has a lifetime warranty.

Stefan: Yeah, but that's the warranty.

Michael: If it ever breaks, I can take it back to Auto Zone and they'll give me a new one.

Stefan: I'm not really worried about the jack breaking. If anything else breaks...

Michael: Let's look at the instructions. Prior to operation, purge air. Open release valve by turning handle counterclockwise. Pump handle rapidly four full strokes.

Stefan: Is there a picture?

Michael: No.

Stefan: Good. I'm pumping.

(car drives on front of camera)

Michael: Uh, rude. Position jack under load so that saddle will contact load firmly, and load is centered so it cannot slip. Operate jack handle until saddle approaches the load. Once again check to see that the saddle is correctly positioned. Do not crawl under vehicle while lifting vehicle.

Stefan: In your car manual it tells you where the jack points are.

Michael: You know, I used to have my manual in here. Now I don't know where it is.

Yeah, yeah.

Stefan: Yes.

Michael: Yeah. Yeah just do it there. If something bad happens, I won't blame you.

Stefan: We learned a good lesson. I think that's right.

Michael: Well, I mean, it's going up.

Stefan: Yeah.

Michael: Should we have cracked the nuts before lifting it up?

Stefan: Probably.

Michael: This is a different thing.

Stefan: Oh, good.

Michael: Tools! I love tools! I don't know how tools work. If we end up, you know, stranded after the apocalypse, you probably don't want me on your team.

Stefan: I'm gonna have to change my shirt.

Michael: That's a shame.

Stefan: I like this shirt.

Michael: So don't change it.

Stefan: I can't go to a body building show with a dirty shirt.

Michael: I guess I never explained that to the kids at home.

Stefan: That we're going to a body building show?

Michael: Well 'cause I was there already. Um, the thing I went to this morning was, uh, it's called pre-judging, but it's actually just regular judging. Um, and then there's another show later tonight where they pretend to, uh, judge all of the people again, but they already know who won. And then they give out the awards and stuff.

Why is it so easy to lift a car?

Stefan: 'Cause it's a two ton hydraulic jack.

Michael: But I wanna understand the mechanics behind what's happening right now.

Stefan: It's hydraulics.

Michael: How does that work?

Stefan: It's mechanic.

Michael: How does it work?

Stefan: Hydraulically.

Michael: What is it doing?

Stefan: I don't know. Some say it's magic.

Person off screen: Is this you're camera?

Michael: Sure is.

Person off screen: What's it for?

Michael: Taking video.

Stefan: Stupid kids.

(both laugh)

(two cars drive by at the same time)

Stefan: Two way action.

Michael: Double vu.

Stefan: Double vu coucher avec moi? (?)

Michael: Well, okay. Now I can do a proper comparison. That's the old one, that's the new one. Now these will stay in the garage until next winter when they will serve their purpose again.

The nuts are noticeably less shiny than the actual wheel.

Stefan: You should get some new nuts. I always thought your nuts were looking a little dull.

Michael: It's counterclockwise. Woah. That was faster than I expected.

Stefan: It's hydraulic. (laughter) Don't you know?

Michael: I feel like maybe I shouldn't be sticking my head in there while it's jacked up.

Stefan: Probably. I mean, there's enough room, you'll probably survive (laughter) it'll just pull you down real quick.

Michael: Woah. I don't know if you guys can see my hands, but dang.

I hate it. I don't like it. That's it.

Stefan: Yeah.

Michael: We're done.

In Michael's Car

Michael: Okay, first test drive with new wheels. Right off the bat, I notice that it doesn't sound like I'm driving on gravel.

Stefan: Ooo. That's a feature.

Michael: I mean, how much of a difference should I notice?

Stefan: I'm not sure, but, um, theoretically, it should be a little stiffer or more harsh.

Michael: The other tires would've spun doing that.

Do we have time for a car wash?

Stefan: Oh sure. Oh, it's 5:03, dang.

Michael: It's 5:03.

Stefan: Dang.

Michael: It's real 5:03.

Stefan: It's really 5:03.

Michael: I ain't ever seen so 5:03 before.

Stefan: Oh a corveet. That's a corveet.

Michael: BDR 548

Stefan: Don't put that on the internet.

Michael: They don't know that it's someone's license plate number.

Stefan: Now they do!

Michael: They don't know that it's the license plate of a whit corvette with a Montana license plate.

Stefan: I don't know what year it is though.

Michael: Yeah, I don't enough about corvettes to know...

Stefan: It's a late model. (laughter)

Michael: It's that one, (laughter) that one right there.

Oh, I don't have the hand wipes in here.

Both: Ahhhhhh!

Michael: I do have checks, though. Do you need me to write you a check?

Stefan: Oh, I though you meant chex mix. (laughter)

You know if you crash, this is gonna kill you.

Michael: Normally it's in here.

Stefan: It's like a bullet.

Michael: It's in here.

Stefan: It'll shoot through the lid into your face.

I thought I knew how to do this one. I know where it needs to go. I don't know how to get it there.

Michael: It's, it's this puzzley metallic thing, and there's a way to orient them so that you can separate them.

Stefan: How long that SUV gonna be in there? It's clean.

Michael: Not clean enough.

Stefan: Get outta there.

Michael: Here we go.

Stefan: Hmmm...

Michael: Yep, and then they rotate.

Stefan: Wait, but if I mix it up, (drops puzzle thing)

Both: Ahh!

Stefan: Uh, uh, oh, okay. You have to hook one over on it.

Michael: Yeah, hook one over on it.

Automated voice: The wash is currently in use.

Michael: Oh, you don't say. Is there a white corvette in the car wash?

Stefan: License plate BDR 548.

Michael: Late model, that looks like that.

Stefan: Wow.

Michael: What, what is happening?

Stefan: It's, uh, fancy. I might take a spin in there myself. (laughter)

Michael: Do they have auto showers where you just stand in there and (makes water spraying noises)

Stefan: Like an auto wash?

Michael: Yeah, but like this, where it has a thing that sprays you and then like soaps you up,

Stefan: I don't know.

Michael: Then like,

Stefan: But that's what I was saying

Michael: Scrub all your crevices.

Stefan: If I was gonna build my house. It's gonna have an air lock (Michael laughs) where it seals off in the foyer and then it's (makes water spray noise) sprays you down.

Michael: Why?

Stefan: Well, I don't wanna bring the dirt in from outside.

Michael: Are ya ever gonna open a window?

Stefan: Gotta get, gotta

Michael: Do the windows have airlocks?

Stefan: It's gotta spray ya,

Michael: Brings the air in,

Stefan: Disinfect

Michael: Sprays the air and then moves it into the house.

Stefan: Something, I don't know. It's not gonna have windows. It'll have a picture of a window.

Michael: (laughter) Just computers with windows on them. (laughter)

Stefan: It's like honey? Is that honey? Ooo! They paid for the full service.

Michael: Me too.

Stefan: Woah ho!

Michael: I'm not gonna be outdone by some white corvette license plate BDR 548.

Both: Late model (laughter)

Michael: That looks like that.

Oh, can I adjust? I can adjust while it's filming. Sweet. Look we can make it super dark

Stefan: Oohhhhhhhhhhhh

Michael: so you can see out the back, or super bright so you can't,

Stefan: Yeah, blow that out.

Michael: but you can see our faces, uhhh...

Stefan: Or somewhere in the middle.

Michael: Yeah, right there.

Stefan: Yeah, you know, little bit of detail.

Michael: Just to let you know there's something outside.

Stefan: Yeah, we're not a green screen.

Michael: No.

Stefan: Okay, it's an automatic.

Michael: How do you know?

Stefan: Because when they went into drive you saw the

Both: reverse lights

Stefan: flash. (makes disgusted noise)

Michael: Well now we know that this white BDR 548 late model corvette is an automatic.

Stefan: Ugh, I don't even care anymore.

Michael: Mmmm...

Stefan: Did you get a, your receipt?

Michael: No.

Stefan: It's flapping in the wind!

Michael: Yeah.

Stefan: Someone's gonna get the last four digits of your credit card!

Michael: Yeah. It's better than

Stefan: And what if they guess the other twelve?

Michael: It's better than them knowing my license plate.

Okay, here we go.

Stefan: Okay.

Michael: It's time to get all clean.

Stefan: Oh god!

Michael: Spray me!

Both: Ahhhhhh!!!!

Michael: You know, car washes like this are kinda like splash mountain for cars.

Stefan: Ahh

At Claire's Competition

Michael: You're so brown.

Claire: I know.

(cheering)

Host: Claire Grosvenor's up next, ---- a student, straight out of Missoula, Montana, 20 years old, Claire Grosvenor.

Top 5 Novice Bikini, 5th place, that award goes to: Camille --- (cheering)

4th place award Jenelle --- (cheering)

Top 3 and third place goes to --- (cheering)

And now the top two. Representing bikini overall and novice bikini, 2nd place and runner up, that award is gonna go to: Claire Grosvenor. (cheering)

The winner is --- Westover (cheering)

In Michael's Car

Michael: So what are your thoughts about the, uh, bikini competition?

Stefan: It was good. That was good. I would go again. I'm surprised that that's the first time I've gone to like a body building show. But then again, I don't leave the house that often.

Michael: No.

Stefan: I try not to.

Michael: I don't leave the house very often either.

Stefan: Yeah, so that kinda makes sense.

Michael: I feel like Claire should have won both of those things, and I'm not just saying that because of my relation with her, uh, I think if I didn't know her, I still would've thought that she was the best.

I guess now we're gonna do a post-celebrate not, I guess the celebration is post, a post bikini competition celebration at IHOP.

IHOP

Stefan: I like the original better, but this is good. Mmmmm... Blueberries!