I'm 42 Years Old

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I'm 42 Years Old

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Episode Information
Date of episode Tuesday
February 28, 2017
Date of upload March 21, 2017
Duration 8:42
Intro Rebecca Wang
Odie
Special Thanks Emily Larkin
David Wilson
Brandon Metheny
This episode was brought to you by Rachel Reynolds
Noel Kocheril
Julie Herr
Yesterday's Comment of the Day ""I was trying to be healthy"" – JDog39617
Credits
Michael Aranda
Camera, editing, music
Katelyn Salem
Editing, sound
Songs "Intro"
"Outro"
Appearances Katelyn Salem
Todd Williams
Locations
New York City, New York
Manhattan West Hotel
B&H Photo Video
Pennsylvania Station
Times Square
Hersey's Chocolate World
Black Tap Midtown
Chronology
Baggage Garden I'm 42 Years Old What New York Tastes Like
Data
Weather
New York City, New York
State Clear
Temperature 55.9°F / 13°C
Wind 5.8 mph / 8 kph
Humidity 51%



Anthropometry
Weight No Data
Body Fat No Data
Resting Heart Rate 52 bpm
Blood Pressure 124/71 mmhg




Season Seven Statistics
Distance
Jogged 68.9 mi / 109 km
Cycled 0 mi / 0 km
Driven 814 mi / 1310 km
Flown 2711 mi / 4363 km
Misc
Bacon Slaps 0
Flights 3
Gym Visits 10
Haircuts 1
Hikes to the M 0
Papyrus 4
Merch Items Sold 16
Pizzas 2
Todd-Fives 3
Travel Issues 0


Transcript[edit | edit source]

(Whimsical xylophone music plays over a dog lounging on a bed. Text appears on the bottom of the screen.)

Odie: Hi! I'm Odie! I'm a one year old rescue, and I'm a little shy.

(A ukulele begins to play over the xylophone. The camera pans up to a TV playing an episode of WhatImDoingRightNow.)

And you're watching WhatImDoingRightNow.


("Intro" plays over the opening title screen.)


Manhattan West Hotel – 11:18 AM EST

(Michael Aranda sits at a table. Todd Williams sits on a bed behind him.)

Michael Aranda: Good morning, Toddly.

(Michael sighs heavily.)

Todd Williams: Oh, good morning, Michael. Am I seeable?

Michael: You are seeable.

Todd: Oh, hello...

Michael: How was your sleep?

Todd: It was alright. We, uh, have our window right next to the street, so we hear—we hear all the things!

Michael: Yeah.

Todd: Turns out I can... ignore them pretty well.

Michael: Yeah, I don’t think I was woken up by anything outside last night.

Todd: What about inside?

Michael: Or inside.

Todd: Okay.

Michael: I wasn’t woken up during my sleep as far as I can remember.

Todd: That’s great.

Michael: I think maybe, though, I did have a dream that I discovered that I was... actually Superman. And! I found that if I covered my mouth and hummed a certain way it sounded exactly like Japanese violin instrument thing.

(Katelyn chuckles.)

Todd: So that’s what that noise was.

Michael: Yeah.

Todd: Oh okay.

(Todd laughs.)

Michael: That very soothing music you woke up to was me humming in my sleep.

Todd: I did actually wake up to... I think it was you eating something crunchy.

Michael: I got one of those Naked Chalupa things from Taco Bell last night.

Todd: Huh...

Katelyn Salem: Oh, you got me some cinnamon twists. Those were pretty crunchy.

Todd: That’s tha—

Michael: She was eating the cinnamon twists.

Todd: —that’s what it was. ‘Cause I remember sitting here and hearing this

(Todd imitates aggressive crunching noises. Michael and Katelyn giggle.)

And I’m like, “Huh, okay...” And I just, uh, rolled over.

Michael: What are we doing today?

Todd: We’re going to go visit some kind folks over at B&H here in about 20-ish minutes.

Michael: B&H!

Todd: Yeah, that’s B&H Photo.

Michael: They have lots of toys there.

Todd: They have, uhh... a ton of toys. They’re adult toys—No!

Michael: Whoaaa!

(Everyone laughs.)

Todd: Nope!


B&H Photo Video

(Michael, Todd, and Katelyn walk up to the front of the building.)

Michael: Here’s B&H, the adult store.

Todd: (Laughing) Oh no... No, that’s—No! No!

(The camera spins around to show the store as Michael, Todd, and Katelyn walk through with an employee.)

B&H Employee: Did you check out pricing? Oh, you didn’t check out anything.

Michael: Uh, we didn’t check anything out.

B&H Employee: Awesome.

Michael: This is, uh... a big thing. The amount of stuff in this store is pretty intense.

Todd: Yeah.

Michael: So many computers.

(The camera shows a computer casing with green lights inside and a flight simulator joystick on top of it.)

Flight simulator.

Todd: Wait, what?!

Michael: You gonna fly a thing, Todd?

Todd: I guess...?

(Todd is flying a plane in the flight simulator. Michael and the camera watch over his left shoulder.)

Michael: So after this, Todd can fly us home on the airplane, right?

Todd: Yes, sure.

(Katelyn laughs. Michael and the camera move to Todd's right side. Todd doesn't know the controls and points the camera at the floor of the cockpit.)

No, wait, I don’t wanna do that. Nope, nope. It’s okay. Nope.

Katelyn: Todd. Todd. You’re not flying us home.

Todd: I don’t know what I’m doing.

(The plane gets closer and closer to the ground until it crashes in an explosion.)

Michael: Uh oh. Uh oh! Oooooohhhhhh.

(The camera shows two tables full of production level lighting equipment.)

Michael: All the lighting stuff...

(A mannequin is dressed up as a B&H employee.)

Michael: So this guy is decked out with just a bunch of hidden cameras. I assume there’s one in the watch. There’s some kind of thing in the keys. Maybe in the hat right here, definitely in the glasses.

(Todd and Michael walk through the store.)

Michael: Todd.

Todd: Yeah.

Michael: I wanna live in this store. It has all of the toys that I want.

(The group is in a recording booth full of microphones with a B&H employee. Michael and Todd are wearing headphones as the employee talks into one.)

B&H Employee Testing 1, 2, 3. Testing 1, 2. 3600 bucks. Now I’m going to switch over to something a little cheaper. And... testing 1, 2, 3. This is about $149.

Michael: That sounds much drier.

B&H Employee: It does sound—it doesn’t sound as good but it’s not a bad sounding microphone.

Michael: Yeah.

B&H Employee: But that’s what we can do in this room. That’s a—I me—There’s—There’s no place around where you can... compare microphones.

Michael: Yeah, this is really cool.

(The camera dolly zooms on a mannequin that is holding up a camera as if to take a picture. Katelyn laughs in the background.)

Katelyn: Get right up in her face.

Todd: Don’t think she’ll mind.

(A piece of the mannequin's arm is chipped just below its right sleeve collar. Michael pulls its sleeve down.)

Michael: Oop. I can see she’s not real. I better... Better hide that.

(Katelyn spreads her fingers and grabs at the the top of the mannequin's head. Michael laughs.)


Pennsylvania Station – 2:07 PM EST

(Michael, Katelyn, and Todd ride down an escalator.)

Michael: We finished our tour of B&H. We’re hungry so we’re gonna get food. I’m planning to go back to the B&H store later to maybe actually buy stuff. I’ve had my eye on the Mavic drone. It’s a very small drone that I could just fit in a backpack and take traveling with me. Because the Inspire 1—it’s cool, but, uh, it’s difficult to travel with.

Todd: Sounds like fun, pal.

Michael: It’s tons of fun, pal.

(The group walks through the lower level of the train station.)

Michael: We just passed a gentleman back there who was chanting, “Buy me beer! I don’t have my ID!”

Todd: “Buy me a beer!”

Todd, Michael, and Katelyn: “I’m 42 years old!”

(Michael laughs.)


7th Avenue

Michael: Todd.

Todd: Yes?

Michael: Would you ever live in New York City?

Todd: (Laughing) No.

Michael: Why not?

Todd: No.

Todd: Just take a listen.

Michael: Too loud?

Todd: Yeah, I like my quiet.

Michael: It is pretty loud.

Todd: There’s just too many people...

Michael: I do feel like living here would be outside of my comfort zone but, to a certain extent, I like the idea of doing things that are outside of my comfort zone. I feel about living in New York City the same way that I feel about skydiving. I don’t really want to go skydiving, but I want to have (emphasis) gone skydiving. I don’t really want to live in New York City, but I want to have (emphasis) lived in New York City.

Todd: Okay, fair enough.

Michael: Well! Well!

Todd: Well, whatcha gonna do about it, buddy?

Michael: I don’t know. I’ll probably just keep living in Missoula for a while.

Todd: I like Montana.

Michael: This is more fast-paced than Montana is, for sure.

Todd: Yup.


(Dance music plays over a Later That Day screen.)


Times Square – 6:52 PM EST

Michael: We went back to the B&H store because I was thinking about buying a drone, but if I buy it here in New York I have to pay New York sales tax. Whereas if I buy it in Montana, I don’t, and that saves me like $100.

Todd: That’s a lot of money.

Michael: So I’m not gonna do it today.

(Jaunty trumpet music begins as Michael, Todd, and Katelyn walk towards Times Square. Cars honk in the background.)

Katelyn: (Quietly) It's so loud.

Michael: Welcome to Times Square!

Katelyn: It’s so bright!

Michael: How do you feel about it aside from being bright?

Katelyn: That’s a—that’s a nice McDonald's “M.”

Michael: Yeah.

Katelyn: Those golden arches.

Michael: Yeah.

Todd: The golden arches!

Katelyn: Yeah, this is exciting.

(A street performer dances around a person on stilts dressed as the Statue of Liberty.)

Street Performer: (Singing) Oh oh! Ay ay! What’s up, Statue? Oh oh!


Hersey's Chocolate World

(The music stops. The camera shows a "Personalize Your M&M's" machine.)

Michael: Would you be sad if someone proposed to you with M&Ms that said “Will you marry me?”

Katelyn: No.

Michael: Is that cute or not?

Katelyn: Uh, I wouldn’t... (Laughing) I don’t know how to answer that question.


7th Avenue

Michael: I tweeted out asking for suggestions on where we should eat, especially for good burgers, and, uh, Black Tap was suggested by multiple people.

Todd: Black Tap!

Michael: So we’re walking to Black Tap.

Todd: Black Tap!

Katelyn: Black Tap!

Michael: Black Tap!

Todd: Black Tap!

Katelyn: Black Tap!


Black Tap Midtown

(The group walks up to the front door of the restaurant.)

Michael: Look, Black Tack! Craft burgers and beer!

Michael: Todd, there’s a line to get into this place.

Todd: Yeah.

Michael: A line. We have to wait in line.

Todd: You like lines?

Michael: Nooo .

Todd: Oh.

Michael: Lines are no bueno. We have to wait until someone inside finishes dining, and there’s people inside just looking at their phones instead of eating and hurrying up.

(The group is lead through the restaurant by a hostess.)

Michael: We made it! We made it through the line!

Hostess: Enjoy your meal!

Michael: Thank you!

Michael: Whoo!

(The camera shows the menu as Michael runs his finger down a list.)

Michael: We’ve got all kinds of craft burgers here. Pizza Burger... They have a vegan burger... And then “Crazy Shakes!” Sweet N’ Salty peanut butter shake, strawberry shake, vanilla cookie shake. Fruity Pebbles shake?! "Vanilla frosted rim with Fruity Pebbles topped with a Fruity Pebbles Rice Krispy treat, strawberry Pop-tart, Nerds rope, whipped cream, and a cherry".

Katelyn: (Laughing) Jesus christ!

Todd: So, what do you do with your life?

Michael: (Ordering food) I’ll do the Mexico City, please. And then, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to try this Bam Bam shake.

(An angelic chord plays over a shot rotating around a shake that has all of the above ingredients piled over the top of the glass it came in.)

(The camera shows Michael's Mexico City burger, which has a large onion ring in it.)

Michael: I’m not sure how I’m supposed to eat this thing! It’s so big!


West 55th Street – 9:00 PM EST

(Thee is a wall and front door in the back of a large commercial truck.)

Michael: Todd there’s a house in that truck.

Todd: Should I go knock on the door?

Michael: I don’t know, what does it say?

(Todd steps up onto the lift and into the back of the truck, walks up to the door, and looks through the window on it. Katelyn chuckles.)

Todd: It’s not really a house.

Michael: What is it?

(Todd looks back through the window.)

Todd: (Muffled) It looks like, just... some film equipment.

(A "No Parking Film Shoot" sign is taped to a light pole next to the truck.)

Michael: Well, it does say that there’s a film shoot right here.

(The camera shows a sign in a convenience store window for Newport cigarettes that has the word "pleasure" across the top of it.)

Michael: Todd, would you like some pleasure for thirteen dollars and ninety cents?

Todd: What?

Michael: Would you like some pleasure for thirteen dollars and ninety cents?

Katelyn: (Laughing) That’s a deal, Todd.

Todd: You know what? You’re in the big city, that’s a good deal.

(The group walk up to a street performer playing drums on metal pans and plastic buckets.)


Manhattan West Hotel – 12:31 AM EST

(The hotel room is dark and the only light in the room is coming through the shade on the window. Michael sits at a table while Todd and Katelyn lounge in their beds.)

Michael: Todd.

Todd: Yep.

Michael: Katelyn.

Katelyn: Hmm.

Michael: I have a very important decision to make. Should I... let Kelsey... take my stitches out?

Katelyn: I don’t see why not.

Todd: If she wants to.

Michael: I’m supposed to have gotten them out yesterday. I could either have her take them out tomorrow night when we get home, or... on Thursday I can go into the hospital or clinic or something.

(Michael's face becomes visible as he leans forward into the light of his laptop.)

Actually, though, I’ve found that using the stitches to scratch other parts of my body feels nice.

(The camera shows Michael's right hand held up in front of his laptop screen. The stitches in his middle and ring fingers can be seen in shadow.)

I have these stitches in my fingers! In my fangers!

(The screen is black as Michael talks in the dark.)

Michael: Real quick before I go to bed I just wanted to say thank you to everybody who contributed to that birthday video that got uploaded on the, um... WhereWereHangingRightNow YouTube channel. It gave me lots of feels. I do feel a little bit weird about promoting something that, uh... is so obviously complimentary of myself. So I don’t plan on putting a link to it anywhere, but I’m sure if you’re interested in finding out where that is, uh... you can do that! So, anyway. Thanks for watching and I’ll see you tomorrow.


("Outro" plays over the end screen.)