Hot Wife

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Episode Information[edit | edit source]

Date of video
August 31st, 2015
Date of upload
October 13th, 2015
Duration
7 minutes 36 seconds
Edited by
Michael Aranda
Katelyn Salem
Appearances by
Michael Aranda
Stefan Chin
Glenn Kneebone
Katelyn Salem
Brought to you by
Caoimhe Ann
Brandon Metheny
Mariah Kuntz

Location[edit | edit source]

Missoula, Montana
EcoGeek Offices
University of Montana
Caffè Dolce

Weather[edit | edit source]

Clear

Temperature: 48.9°F/9°C

Wind: Calm

Humidity: 86%

Anthropometry[edit | edit source]

Weight: 185.5 lbs/84.1 kgs

Body Fat: 19.6%

Heart Rate: 57 bpm

Blood Pressure: 125/71 mmHg

Season Four Stats[edit | edit source]

Distance
Jogged: 26.5 mi/42 km
Cycled: 63.7 mi/101 km
Driven: 4015 mi/6462 km
Flown: 6410 mi/10316 km
Food
Boloco: 1
Bobby's Burger Palace: 2
Burger King: 4
Burger's Priest: 1
Caffe Dolce: 2
Chipotle: 3
Coldstone: 1
Dairy Queen: 1
Denny's: 1
Domino's: 2
Earl of Sandwich: 1
Finn & Porter: 1
Fuddruckers: 1
Hero Certified Burgers: 2
HuHot: 1
In-N-Out: 1
Jimmy John's: 1
Lil' Orbits: 2
Lizzy's: 1
Lucky Red: 1
Market On Front: 8
McDonald's: 4
Mike's Pastry: 1
One Hour: 1
Pita Pit: 1
Pizza Hut: 1
Potbelly: 1
Quizno's: 8
The Squealing Pig: 1
Subway: 1
Sweet Peaks: 2
Tagliare: 2
Tamarack: 1
Tasty Burger: 1
UC Food Court: 1
Wendy's: 1
Wok N Talk: 2
Yogurty's: 2
Misc
Flights: 8
Gym Visits: 1
Haircuts: 1
Papyrus: 4
Plane Issues: 1

Transcript[edit | edit source]

Parking Lot

Michael: It's actually nice in Missoula today. It's not all smoky. It's a miracle.

Stefan: Oh yeah.

Michael's car

Michael: Well, it's... it's bright. I didn't bring my sunglasses.

So here's the update. This morning I was able to register for my classes again. The only thing that kinda sucks is that the lab that I was in before they dropped me from all my classes is now full so I have to get into an earlier lab. Which means on Thursdays I have to wake up an hour earlier than I would have had to otherwise. But whatever. That's okay. I'd say last night I got maybe half way through SciShow Kids before I fell asleep. I had finished about 75% of Crash Course Anatomy. So I've got until about 10.30 to finish as much of that as I can before I go to class.

At EcoGeek Offices

Michael: Eyy, we're up to 24,413! That's exciting.

(time-lapse of editing)

Michael: Boom! I did the things. It's time to go to class.

Michael's car

Michael: Curious to see how terrible the parking situation is gonna be. Well, it looks sort of full from this angle so far. Yeah, there's a lot of people parked here. This is going to be annoying. Last semester my first class was relatively early in the morning so the parking lot usually wasn't packed by the time I got here. This semester my earliest class on Monday at least is at eleven. So everybody has had a chance to get in here and find a parking space. Everybody except me.

University of Montana

Professor: How was everybody's summer?

Unknown: It was great!

Michael: Fantastic!

Professor Cassens: Good? Short? Alright. So. First thing, we'll go through the syllabus. For those of you who don't know me: My name is Michael Cassens.

At the UC Food Court

Michael: I just had a salad lunch with Glenn. Ignore this. What is the.. the name of this food establishment here?

Glenn: The UC Commons?

Michael: The UC Commons? So like when the thing pops up at the bottom of the screen to say where I ate it's gonna say +1 UC Commons?

Glenn: Or the UC Foodcourt?

Michael: Ehhh...

Glenn: You buy the food at the foodcourt but you eat it in the commons.

Michael: I'm gonna put foodcourt then.

Glenn: Yeah.

University of Montana

Professor Reisenfeld: Alright. Hello everyone and welcome to Fundamentals of Physics with Calculus 1!

Walking on street

Michael: Well, I think I really like that class. I like the teacher. That's good. Today we calculated the size of the Earth using only the measurements that the ancient Greeks had. And we got a result that was only like 30 kilometers off of the actual size.

Michael's car

Michael: Anyway, it's back to work.

Outside of office

Michael: Here's mama pigeon and baby pigeons.

Walking on street

Michael: I'm about to do something kind of weird. Yesterday when I was in the Minneapolis airport I was scrolling through Facebook and I saw in the University of Montana group someone posted a thing saying that Delta Gamma was looking for houseboys. I had no idea what a houseboy was so I texted a friend of mine.. uh.. Haley actually I stayed with her in Boston although I don't think she made it into a video. Anyway, I asked her "What the heck is a houseboy?" and she explained that on Monday nights apparently the sorority has houseboys that serve dinner to the.. the sorority girls and they get paid for doing it and they get free food. So I was like "Oh hell! Why not?". So I'm on my way to interview to be a houseboy.

It's the one with the giant anchor in the front yard.

At EcoGeek Offices

Michael: So that was a little bit anti-climactic. They just had me fill out a form and then leave it there and apparently the house director will be in touch. So, we'll see whether or not I get to be a houseboy.

At Caffé Dolce

Unknown: Really nice panning shot of his burger.

Michael: Oh, my finger's in the shot.

Michael's car

Michael: We just went to Caffè Dolce and had a very nice dinner with a high school friend of Katelyn's.

Katelyn: Yeah!

Michael: Who was driving across the country from Michigan to Portland, Oregon.

Katelyn: He had his tundra truck and a trailer and a dog and a little brother (???) with him.

Michael: He's a pretty attractive guy.

Katelyn: Yeah.

Michael: I can see why you stay friends with him.

(Katelyn laughing)

It's almost 9 o'clock. I kinda... I kinda feel like I should try to go to bed.

Katelyn: I thought you were gonna say something like "I kinda feel like I should go to Sweet Peaks before it closes" or something.

Michael: NO!

Katelyn: That's a more regular thing to say.

Michael: So far today I have not had any sugar. Not traveling helps, because when you're traveling it seems like the only thing available to eat is whatever candy bars or ready-made sandwiches are at the airport. But like being busy and having to go to class and go to work and go to class and all this stuff I think makes it easier to not be tempted by bad things.

Katelyn: Whenever I'm in school it's always easier to just... I just don't really get hungry as much in the day. Or at least I don't notice it.

Michael: I think that's part of it for me. But also like because I feel really productive that helps like spin up my motivation to eat well because I'm like "Yah, I went to school today and I went to work I got stuff done at work. I should have a salad"

Katelyn: Being super busy for me sometimes is that it's just like I'm really busy and I don't want to cook anything and I just want to grab something at the whatever convenience store they have at the school.

Michael: I hate cooking. I hate cooking so much. It's the least favorite thing to do in the world. I would rather do laundry. I would rather do dishes. I would rather clean the cat box for an hour.

Katelyn: An hour?

Michael: Maybe not an hour. I would rather clean the cat box for 15 minutes than cook. And you that.. that email that I got the other day that I read out loud. The part where they talk about like me eating out and stuff like it got me thinking about just how much I don't like cooking and I'm kind of like you know what? I'm just.. I'm a person who eats out a lot and I'm comfortable with that. I'm happy with who I am.

Katelyn: I feel like it should.. it should be okay if you just wanna like, you know, cook breakfast everyday and that's it.

Michael: I don't wanna cook breakfast.

Katelyn: Well you just make your eggs and bacon you know? Just.. that's easy. Make eggs and bacon.

Michael: I just.. I would rather spend my time either being productive or procrastinating. Not cooking.

Katelyn: One day maybe you can hire a chef or you can have a really hot wife that will just stay at home and cook for you.

Michael: I don't care if she's hot. If she cooks, she's in.