Exploiting Cats for Likes and Views

Episode Information

Date of video

February 5th, 2014

Date of upload

February 7th, 2014

Duration

8 minutes 0 seconds

Edited by

Michael Aranda

Appearances by

Michael Aranda

Emily Graslie

Rob Scallon

Katie Kirby

Michael Phillip Thomas

Tamara Lynn Chambers

Location

Chicago, Illinois

The Chicago Field Museum

Potbelly

Transcript

Outside

Michael: Normally there are a bunch of hot dog stands out here, but we’re unsure if they’re going to be open in spite of the cold weather. So I’ve gone on a reconnaissance mission to find out if the hot dog stand is open.

It is very closed. This is very disappointing. They’re collecting a lot of snow, though.

In The Chicago Field Museum

(Background murmur)

Emily’s Office

Michael: We just uploaded an episode of the Brain Scoop filled with um…

Emily: Me!

Michael: That (laughs)

Emily: (Quietly) Me!

Michael: Uhh, blooper fun time. How do you feel about it, Emily?

Emily: I laughed so hard I cried for like, five hours all morning. I think I just stopped crying from laughter. It was just funny. It’s funny to see yourself in the highs and the lows all on video.

Michael: (Laughs) Yeah.

Emily: Good times!

Michael: On another note, I have Potbelly stuck in my teeth because, uh, I made them deliver roast sandwiches to the Field Museum. (Knocks on table) I have a problem, Emily.

Emily: You didn’t make them. I mean they offer delivery service.

Michael: I summoned a sandwich slave!

(Emily laughs)

Looking Out a Window

Michael: It’s all snowy out there.

Emily: I’m trying to get a photograph of the ice cream sign.

Michael: Ice cream?

Emily: Yeah. There’s a- mm, it says “ice cream” on the outside of that hut.

Michael: Oh yeah.

Emily: Ice cream sounds pretty good right about now.

Michael: Potbelly sounds pretty good right about now. (Snickers)

Outside

Michael: The snow stopped so I’m making a break for it. I have a hot date with Rob Scallon. Guess where he wants to go? Potbelly, obviously.

(Wind noises)

Michael: It is very cold. My nose is running. On the plus side, my Mountain Dew’s staying cool. It’s probably colder out here than it would be in any refrigerator.

Rob’s House

Michael: Ah… I’ve arrived home. I can relax on the couch. Take a load off…

Rob: Potbelly time.

Michael: It’s time to go to Potbelly! (Grunts)

Rob Scallon’s Car

Michael: It’s cold in Rob’s car! And he’s scraping the ice and I hate that noise! (Noises of Michael’s discomfort)

(Spanish with a beat)

Michael: Rob?

Rob: Yeah?

Michael: Why were you listening to Mexican music?

Rob: Because it’s the only good station on the radio!

Michael: But you don’t speak Spanish.

Rob: Exactly! So I- I think that the lyrics on all radio stations are just really, really stupid so, if it’s in Spanish, at least I don’t understand it.

Michael: You always think of vending machines as being basically big refrigerators: they keep the soda inside cold.

Rob: Yeah.

Michael: But in weather like this do they also have heating units inside so it doesn’t freeze?

Rob: Not to my knowledge. Not to my knowledge at all.

Katie: As long as they’re outdoors…

Rob: It is a plus, though, if you have leftovers in your car, that you can just leave it in your car for a really long time and it’s colder than in your refrigerator.

Michael: That doesn’t answer my vending machine question.

Rob: (Laughs) I know!

Michael: There are outdoor vending machines in sub-zero temperatures! Do they have heaters?

Rob: I don’t know!

Michael: They must have heaters. I hope someone in the comments can answer this question because it burns inside me like the fire of… a fire.

Oh man, this is really cool. Part of all the snow is like, blowin’ up off your hood and into your face while you’re trying to drive.

Rob: I don’t know. It’s just part of the game.

Michael: Why didn’t you, uh, just knock it off?

Rob: I got- well, I got a lot of it off.

Michael: Look at that big chunk right there! That’s like, that’s gonna sink the Titanic!

Rob: Well, I don’t know. I got- I probably could have gotten more of it off.

Michael: I want to go to California.

Rob: I was just there ah. It- I don’t know.

Michael: Wasn’t it wonderful?

Rob: I don’t know what I’ll say about it on camera, but I think I’d rather be here.

Michael: (High pitched) Wha~t?

Rob: Yeah. Yeah.

Michael: Wha~t?

Rob: (Also high pitched) Wha~t? Wha~t?

Michael: (Increasing in pitch) Wha~t?

Rob: Wha~?

Michael: Wha~t!

Rob: Mmm!

(Both increasing in pitch)

Michael: Wha~t!

Rob: Ahh!

Michael: Wha~t!

Rob: Ahh!

Michael: (Clears throat, then sings in a low tenor) Wha~t.

Rob: (Singing in a mid-range tone) Wha~

Michael: (Singing in harmony, higher) Wha~

(Both cease singing abruptly, sliding into lower notes)

Michael: That was fun.

Rob: Yep.

Potbelly

Michael: Oh man it’s Potbelly. I love Potbelly!

If there is a heaven, it is made of Potbelly sandwiches.

This channel is slowly becoming just one big advertisement for Potbelly and I’m not making any money from it.

Rob: They should definitely be sponsoring you.

At Paciugo

Michael: “Paciugo.” Katie Kirby has insisted that we try this gelato place.

Rob: It is very, very good.

Michael: (Reading) Chocolate, strawberry, roasted banana cashew heath crunch, oh man. Food Network flavor of the week? Vanilla lavender, brown sugar waffle co- oh man. Mint cookies, meditteranean s- oh man. Oh, oh man. Wedding cake. I don’t even know.

On a day like today, there’s nothing like a frozen treat to bring your body temperature down.

Rob’s House

Tamara: Oh no! Are you flimin’? No. Oh no!

Michael: What, what’s going on Tamara Lynn Chambers?

Tamara: Sh-t, I got stuck. Look at this, watch. I’m stuck in a fence and I can’t jump anywhere. It won’t let me leave! (Whispers assorted profanities) Now I have to load from like a really far load zone, save place. Damn.

Michael: Why are you going in and out of this, like, southern accent?

Tamara: (Sighs) Well, here’s the deal, I don’t know. I have no idea.

Michael: Kitty you’re in a box and you’re getting this video so many likes right now! Whoa, whoa. Whoa!

Rob: (As the cat) Oh, oh hey.

Tamara: I don’t always-

Rob: I’m a cat in a box.

Tamara: I don’t always sit in a box, but when I do…

MPT: (In a Russian accent) I don’t always fit in a box, but when I do, Rob moves me around like a kitten. (In a western accent) I’m a UFO cat.

Rob: (Singing) I’m a cat in a box!

Michael: Why is he so content?

Rob: He really-

Tamara: He’s so happy!

Rob: He really, really loves it.

Tamara: He really does.

Rob: He likes flying around the apartment.

Michael: How fast does he like to fly around the apartment?

Rob: Usually pretty fast, but I’m not doing that right now.

MPT: Oh like, light speed, mach speed, you know, like mach two, mach three.

Michael: All of the machs.

MPT: Super- Super machs! Yeah. A lot of the machs.

Tamara: All of the machs. (Laughing) He’s so happy.

Rob: Like: Rob, bring me up again. I don’t want to be down there.

Michael: “Thank you for using Priority Mail Service.”

Rob: (As the cat in an accent) I’m going to get shipped to Alaska.

Michael: Hey. Hey. Hey, hey. Hey!

Rob: That’s probably a good shot.