Bread Smashing

From The Aranda Wiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Bread Smashing

mqdefault.jpg
Episode Information
Date of episode Friday – Saturday
December 30 – 31, 2016
Date of upload March 10, 2017
Duration 12:17
Intro Keri Shi
This episode was brought to you by Kelsey Polovina
Mike
Sacha Mitchell
Yesterday's Comment of the Day "Michael, you need to work on your organizational skills. All of those ducks were not in a row." – Drew Brown
Credits
Michael Aranda
Camera, editing, music
Tyler Grutsch
Editing
Katelyn Salem
Editing, sound
Charlie Thompson
Assistant editing
Songs "Intro"
"Outro"
Appearances Michael Aranda
Katelyn Salem
Abi Rein
Todd Williams
Kelsey Cote
Marcus Schlueter
Jessi Knudsen-Castañeda
Ceri Riley
Locations
Missoula, Montana
N Pattee St
Missoula Mercantile
Break Espresso
Synema Studios Office Building
Katelyn Salem's Jeep
Chronology
Christmas Spirit In Your Belly Bread Smashing Boston Busted
Data
  Dec 30 Dec 31
Weather
Missoula, Montana
State Mostly Cloudy Rain
Temperature 34°F 1°C 55°F 13°C
Wind 10.4 mph 16 kph 1.4 mph 2 kph
Humidity 70% 96%
Anthropometry
Weight 196.5 lbs 89.1 kg No Data
Body Fat 25% No Data
Resting Heart Rate 61 bpm 57 bpm
Blood Pressure 118/72 mmhg 116/76 mmhg
Season Six Statistics
Distance
Jogged 68.9 mi / 109 km
Cycled 0 mi / 0 km
Driven 12655 mi / 20366 km
Flown 6136 mi / 9875 km
Misc
Bacon Slaps 7
Flights 6
Gym Visits 5
Haircuts 4
Hikes to the M 0
Papyrus 25
Merch Items Sold 241
Pizzas 31
Todd-Fives 67
Travel Issues 3


Transcript[edit | edit source]

New Jersey, United States

Keri Shi: Hi, I’m Keri from New Jersey. It is currently 4 A.M., and I just finished submitting all of my college apps. And this, is WhatImDoingRightNow.


("Intro" plays over the opening title screen.)


N Pattee St – 3:04 PM MST

Michael Aranda: Tonight we are launching our 2017 livestream thing where we’re gonna celebrate every single time zone going into 2017. Our livestream is starting at 1 A.M. our time tonight, and going for almost 30 hours, ending at January 1st.

(Katelyn makes anxious sounds as she waits for the pay for parking machine to process her purchase.)

Michael: What are you doing?

Katelyn Salem: It’s cold—It’s very cold.

(Katelyn laughs.)

Katelyn: I’m just waiting for it to be ready.

Michael: This seems like it takes a long time.

Katelyn: It didn’t take as long before, but I think because now I’m adding time.

Michael: You may know Abi, she’s frequently in the comments of these videos, was in some of these videos around the time of Vidcon. She flew into Missoula today to help us with our livestream. So Todd picked her up, and now they’re on their way over to meet us at Market on Front for some delicious sandwiches. There’s a sandwich there called the Fruity Bird, which I think is the second best sandwich in Missoula. The first being the Megadeath from Tagliare.

Katelyn: The first best sandwich in the world is... the, uh, Italian Grinder from Mancino's in Flint, Michigan.

(Katelyn laughs maniacally.)

Michael: I’ve never tried it.

Katelyn: I’ll take you if you ever visit Michigan.

Michael: We’ll see—If I ever visit Michigan, we’ll see if it is better than the Italian from Potbelly.

Katelyn: It’s sooo freaking good!

(Michael and Katelyn walk past the Missoula Mercantile building and Michael points the camera at it.)

Michael: Hey remember when the uh... the council was... debating on whether or not to let this building get knocked down? I don’t remember if I told you guys, but they voted in favor of knocking it down. That’s gonna happen at some point.

Katelyn: It’s still there!

Michael: It’s still here though. That was, like, six months ago when they said, “Okay, let’s knock it down.”

Katelyn: I think that was before Complexly had moved... to the new place.

Michael: I think it was when we were moving.


Outside the Synema Studios Office

Michael: Hi, Abi.

Abi Rein: Hi!

Michael: I know how much you like to wash your hands. I had them bring uh... a sink over for you.

Abi: Thank you...

Michael: Yeah.

Abi: I was looking for that. Uh... My hands were feelin’ real dirty.

Michael: Todd, actually why is there a sink outside our office?

Katelyn: It looks nicer than the sinks that are in the bathroom for the women's.

Todd Williams: It is.

Michael: It is a nicer sink than exists inside.


Break Espresso – 7:13 PM MST

Michael: We came to this coffee place to get Abi some coffee. Todd got some coffee as well. However, did you guys notice that this place is just covered in Papyrus?

(Angels sing as Michael shows 9 different food signs typed in Papyrus.)


Synema Studios Office Building

(Michael follows Todd through several different rooms in the building.)

Michael: So this is where the magic’s gonna happen?

Todd: If you want to call it that. We have a few more things to set up. So we’re gonna have a fax machine, so, uh... It’s gonna be too late for you.

(Todd gestures at the camera. Michael and Abi laugh.)

Todd: But, uh... other people can fax—fax us things. I don’t know, a recipe.

Abi: Mmm.

Todd: A picture they drew? I don’t know.

(Michael pans over a computer on a table and then 2 Lighthouse sensors on stands.)

Michael: Oh, yeah. This is for the—the Vive play area?

(Todd gestures at the table with the computer as he talks.)

Todd: Yeah, so, uh... essentially, like, we’ll be moving this over here and this whole area will be the play area. We have to set up the OBS for the—for the Tweetch.

Michael: (Imitading Todd) Tweetch.

Todd: I was gonna make a bad—a bad pun, but then...I lost it.

12:44 AM MST

Michael: It’s almost showtime. Katelyn’s getting OBS set up. We’ve got the tweets with our hashtag "SynemaNYE". Also, fax.

Todd: You should send us a fax of... your resume... or

Michael: Although, I suppose it’s worth noting that by the time people see this video, sending a fax to that number will...

Todd: Yeah, don’t—don’t do that.

Michael: Nothing will happen because there won’t be a fax machine plugged into it anymore.

Michael: So we’ve started our livestream, but we’re having a lot of technical issues. Including the fact that right now, we can’t get a good, decent Wi-Fi connection between the computer we’re trying to stream from and the internet that MCAT has here. We’re broadcasting to 65 people right now, but we are just broadcasting... nothing, which sucks.


Video from the Synema NYE Livestream

Michael: Ladies and gentleman! Boys and girls! Welcome to the Synema Studios New Year’s Eve Livestream 2017! Eyyyyy! There’s a Todd-five for ya. So we have Todd.

Todd: Yo.

Michael: We have Katelyn, over...

(Michael points out of frame, but picks up and moves the webcam to show Katelyn to his left.)

Michael: there. Uh... We have Abi over here.

(Michael points the webcam to his right to show Abi, who waves happily, sitting on a couch.)

Michael: Um... and it is 1:24 in the morning.

Todd: You forgot the—the Kelsey in the back.

Kelsey: It’s me.

(Michael tries to point to Kelsey over his left shoulder by looking through the livestream feed. Kelsey laughs.)


Synema Studios Office Building

(Michael points his camera at his laptop to show the livestream chat.)

Michael: In the Twitch stream, "Homewithmybookshelf" asked, “Is Michael vlogging as well as livestreaming?” I am now!

(Michael shows the computer screen that is running the feed for the livestream.)

Michael: Look at this, this is what the livestream looks like for me.

Todd: Nuts.

(Michael spins the camera toward Todd.)

Michael: Nuts.

Todd: Crazy. Crazy.

(Michael points the camera at Marcus, sitting to Todd's right.)

Michael: Nuts. We’ve also been joined by Marcus. He brought his—his big tablet with him. What are you gonna do with that thing?

Marcus Schlueter: I’m gonna draw pictures.


(A synth drones over the Saturday December 31, 2016 screen.)


Katelyn Salem's Jeep – 2:55 PM MST

Michael: Good morning. I, uh...

(Michael laughs.)

Michael: I think it was around 7 or 8 o’clock this morning, I finally laid down and slept for... I guess it was after 7 o’clock for sure, so it must have been closer to 8. And I slept until about noon, so I got 4 hours in. We’ve been streaming the whole time; it’s been a lot of fun. I knew that this is a thing that I wanted to do... again, in the future. I think, going through with it, I—I can tell like, yeah, this is... something that I am excited to continuously improve and put effort into making a bigger, better thing out of it. Right now, though,

(Michael gets out of the car and walks around to the trunk.)

I had to come down to Claire Emery’s studio, where she does her woodcarvings, um, because she’s doing her—her last step of the process today. And that is, uh, painting the prints. So, I need to get some footage of that happening.


(Dance music plays over a Later That Day screen.)


Synema Studios Office Building – 2:40 PM MST

(Kelsey Cote has a bird on her right arm as Jessi Knudsen Castañeda talks about it. Abi has her left arm extended in case the bird decides to fly over to her.)

Jessi Knudsen Castañeda: So they are—

Kelsey Cote: So can he be in water?

Jessi: They’re waterproof.

Kelsey: Okay.

Jessi: So they’re covered in a sheeny oil there.

(Michael takes a slow motion shot as Jessi pushes up on the bird's tail feathers and it flies from Marcus' arm to his own.)

Michael: Hey dude.

(Michael chuckles.)

Jessi: Let’s get another grape in there, see if he can fit one more in.

(Jessi feeds the bird half a grape. It takes the grape and eats it.)

Jessi: There. Nice work.

Abi: Very nice.

Michael: Well... something feels wet.

(Michael laughs.)

Jessi: Poopin'.

Kelsey: It’s the cord, I thought she...

Abi: Yeahhhh...

Jessi: Yeah, she—she pooped on this.

Michael: Ohh.

Marcus: She’s got like, orange big eyelashes.

Kelsey: Yeah, they’re—

(Jessi laughs.)

Kelsey: They’re like—it looks like skin.

Marcus: It’s crazy cool.

Kelsey: And they’re oran—It looks like a sunset. It’s amazing.

Jessi: It is skin. So it’s specialized skin.

Kelsey: Yeah.

Jessi: And it just—it shows off her health, and vibrance.

(The bird now sits on Todd's arm. Marcus and Kelsey stand to his left with their arms extended.)

Jessi: This is a really good exercise for her...

Marcus: Look at this sturdy branch.

Jessi: (Whispering) Ready?

(Jessi pushes up on the bird's tail feathers again and it flies onto Kelsey's arm.)

Kelsey: Which one do you want? Thank you!

(Kelsey gets a big smile on her face. Abi and Jessi laugh.)

Marcus: Aww... it’s okay.

(Jessi holds a snake in her arms.)

Jessi: So she’s called a ball python. Kind of her nickname. Can you guess why she might be called a ball python? Not bald as in losing hair, but ball.

Kelsey: B—B-A-L-L... or is it B-A-L?

Marcus: Is it cause, like, food in their stomach makes, like, a big ball?

Jessi: That’s a good guess!

(Abi is now holding the snake and it is resting it's head against the top of her head.)

Jessi: Different patterns on them. This is a natural color that you would find in the wild, and this is something that humans have bred and manipulated.

(Jessi is holding a baby porcupine and walks it toward the livestream webcam.)

Jessi: Here she is guys! Here, we’ll do a close-up and then we’ll let her walk around. This is a baby African crested porcupine. She’s about 2 ½ months old, and she’s gonna get huge, but right now she’s super cute, and she has the best mohawk.

(The porcupine sits on a table eating some food.)

Jessi: She’ll sprint backwards and impale them with her two foot quills. These guys do not have barbed quills, so it’s just like a big needle. So... they have to have a ton of force behind their poke in order to really get it in.

(Jessi is holding the porcupine as she explains to Marcus how to hold it.)

Jessi: She has no quills on her belly and under her arms.

Marcus: Okay...

Jessi: So if you hold her under her arms, put a finger between her chest, but if you—if you try to cradle her butt you will get poked.

Marcus: Okay.

(Marcus takes the porcupine from Jessi.)

Kelsey: Don’t do it. No butts.

Marcus: Oh, am I holding her well enough? She looks like she’s kind of scared.

Jessi: Not really.

(Everyone laughs.)

Jessi: We can also try a cradle.

(Jessi demonstrates by placing the porcupine lengthwise along her arm.)

Marcus: Okay, yeah, maybe a cradle would work better.

Jessi: ‘Kay, so put your arms straight across your belly.

Marcus: Yup.

Jessi: There you go.

Jessi: We’ll try this.

(Marcus puts his arm across his stomach and Jessi places the porcupine on his arm.)

Marcus: There we go.

Abi: People wanna know... what porcupines are related to.

Jessi: They are rodents, and so they’re related to guinea pigs, and rats, and... chinchillas.

(The porcupine walks up Marcus' chest onto his shoulder.)

Marcus: Hi. Hey this is cool, man.

Jessi: Um...

(Kelsey giggles.)

Marcus: Well hey, no this is good.

Jessi: May—maybe not shoulder! You want a shoulder?

Marcus: Sure.

Jessi: Alright...

Marcus: I signed on for this.

Kelsey: I’m like very, uh...

Abi: It’s very close to your face.

(Abi and Jessi laugh.)

Marcus: Yeah. I’m ready to do whatever it takes to protect this animal.

(Everyone laughs.)

(A hedgehog runs around on the table.)

Jessi: But these guys are closely related to—they’re an insectivore, and their—their closest relatives are the mole, and they do not have ever-growing teeth.

(The hedgehog eats a mealworm and Jessi giggles at her.)

Jessi: She’s crunching.

Kelsey: Oh, they have little smiles!

Jessi: Sharp little teeth with really long little noses. shrews, and moles, and tenrecs. And their quills, unlike porcupine quills, they also—they do not come out. So I touch her... and they don’t come out of my—don’t come out of her. And they don’t have any barbs.

(Dramatic, soaring opera music plays as the hedgehog tries and eventually succeeds to eat a mealworm in slow motion.)

(A scorpion sits in the plastic container on the table.)

Jessi: Professor Claw is an emperor scorpion, and she... is found in different areas in Africa. They are the second largest scorpion in the entire world. They are not deadly to humans. She’s only—she’s about 2 ½ years old, and they can get to be 8 inches long, fully extended. She’s—she’s still—she’s still workin’ on it, she’s still growin.’

(Jessi places the scorpion onto Kelsey's hand. It walks up her arm a little ways.)

Kelsey: Look at that...

Jessi: If you want you can do the—the...

Kelsey: Oooh.

Jessi: Yup, she’ll—

Kelsey: Oh, you’re touching my thumb.

(Jessi laughs.)

Kelsey: That was a scary second.

Jessi: She’s like, “What is that? What is that?”

Kelsey: That was a scary second when your claw was on my thumb.

Jessi: She’s feeling it! So you see—

Kelsey: Yeah.

Jessi: So she uses her claws to feel, and she has little, um... they look like hairs or bristles.

Kelsey: Yeah... To sense.

Jessi: Uh, but she has on her big claws—

Jessi: Yeah! And so she—When she’s exploring or if she’s in a new place she’ll hold her claws out in front of her, and she’ll—they’ll kind of be her sensors. So she has eyes, but they’re not that great.


Video from the Synema NYE Livestream

(Michael is playing Factorio, but has stopped to have a conversation. A picture-in-picture of the webcam is in the bottom left corner. Abi sits to his right while Ceri Riley sits on a couch in the background.)

Michael: So we’ll put an ad out on Craigslist for someone who is excited to have themselves viewed while they sleep.

Todd: ‘Kay.

Michael: And then we will construct a place for them to sleep that has a bunch of different camera angles...

Todd: Okay.

Michael: and stuff. Some kind of, uh, AI thing that will, uh... switch camera angles every so often. And we’ll get microphones positioned so that you can, like, hear them breathing really closely while they’re sleeping. So it’s sort of, like, s—you know, watching someone sleep and getting your ASMR kick at the same time. Um... And! Every time the total number of donations hits, like, a hundred dollars, or whatever, on the stream,

(Abi starts laughing.)

Michael: There’s just a big robo—(laughing) robotic arm that smashes bread into their face...

(Everybody laughs hysterically.)

Todd: And they wake up?

Ceri Riley: I think it should be, like, a wheel of robotic arms so there’s different bread each time. So, like, one’s like a dinner roll,

Abi: Different hardness!

Ceri: one’s like a baguette... Yeah, like—

Todd: A little sponge cake and then—

Ceri: So, like, it like—

Abi: Some crumble!

Ceri: —flips a rotation and then...

Abi: This one has butter on it.

Ceri: Yeah.

Michael: Okay, so I—I want there to be a wheel that has different food items that’s just constantly moving.

Abi: (Hysterically laughing) Just, like, a slow slap.

Todd: Just in a row.

Michael: And then—yeah, it depends on, like, when the last donation comes in.

Ceri: Oh yeah!

Michael: It just grabs the nearest one and smashes it!

(Abi continues to laugh.)

Todd: This is actually a—uh—no joke, this is a good idea.

Abi: We should not be filming this ‘cause other people are gonna steal it!


Synema Studio Office Building – 11:54 PM MST

(Michael points the camera at the computer screen to show the livestream feed.)

Michael: Our livestream is still going. It’s 11:54. We have 6 minutes until Missoula goes into 2017.

(Todd lifts his hands up, left in front of right, and high-fives Michael with both hands in succession.)

Michael: That was a double Todd-five.

Abi: Yeahhh.

Michael: You know what, Todd?

Todd: Yessir.

Michael: So not only are we 4 minutes away from 2017,

Todd: Mhm.

Michael: We’re also 4 minutes away from the end of this season of WhatImDoingRightNow because a new season starts January 1st. What changes do we want to make for the new season?

Todd: Uh... Uh... Uh...

Michael: I mean, it’s fun to say we only have 3 ½ minutes to figure it out, but we’re not gonna edit this video until like a month from now.

Okay, it’s gettin’ there. It’s 11:57.

(Kelsey, Marcus, Todd, Abi, Ceri, and Katelyn either stand or sit near Michael with cups in thier hands.)

Michael: Thank you everybody, for making my 2016 better than it would have been without you.

One minute!

Abi: Woo!

Michael: I hear people honking horns outside.

Abi: 30 seconds.

Michael: Oh. Oh okay. Okay. Okay.

(Kelsey groans.)

Michael: Marcus, what are you doing?

Abi: 20.

Kelsey: Marc—

Marcus: Getting ready.

Kelsey: Oh.

Michael: Are you gonna pop up?

Abi: 19.

Michael: Oh, okay.

Todd: 2017 jack-in-the-box.

Abi: 10!

Kelsey: No, Michael Aranda in a box.

Abi & Michael: 9!

Everyone: 8!

7!

6!

5!

4!

3!

2!

1!


("Outro" plays over the end screen.)