Bike Lock

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Episode Information[edit | edit source]

Date of video
August 20th, 2015
Date of upload
October 1st, 2015
Duration
5 minutes 25 seconds
Edited by
Michael Aranda
Logan George
Appearances by
Michael Aranda
Glenn Kneebone
Katelyn Salem
Brought to you by
Shay Nieman
Judson Howie
Brittany George

Location[edit | edit source]

Missoula, Montana
Quizno's
EcoGeek Offices

Weather[edit | edit source]

Haze

Temperature: 60°F/16°C

Wind: 3.0 mph

Humidity: 53%

Anthropometry[edit | edit source]

Weight: 184.2 lbs/83.6 kg

Body Fat: 21.8%

Heart Rate: 62 bpm

Blood Pressure: 113/74 mmhg

Season Four Stats[edit | edit source]

Distance
Jogged: 22.8 mi/35 km
Cycled: 63.7 mi/101 km
Driven: 1968 mi/3167 km
Flown: 2459 mi/3957 km
Food
Boloco: 1
Bobby's Burger Palace: 2
Burger King: 3
Caffe Dolce: 1
Chipotle: 1
Denny's: 1
Domino's: 1
Earl of Sandwich: 1
Finn & Porter: 1
Fuddruckers: 1
HuHot: 1
In-N-Out: 1
Jimmy John's: 1
Lizzy's: 1
Market On Front: 7
McDonald's: 3
Mike's Pastry: 1
Pita Pit: 1
Pizza Hut: 1
Quizno's: 5
Sweet Peaks: 2
The Squealing Pig: 1
Tagliare: 2
Tamarack: 1
Tasty Burger: 1
Wendy's: 1
Wok N Talk: 2
Misc
Flights: 4
Gym Visits: 1
Haircuts: 1
Papyrus: 3
Plane Issues: 1

Transcript[edit | edit source]

Michael's Balcony

Michael: Once again it's really, really smoky today. Actually, I don't know if I can see these mountains at all over there.

Parking Lot

Michael: Hi kitty!

Katelyn: Hi! You're very dirty. Looks like he was shaved right here. Maybe he had some kind of hip surgery or something at some point.

Michael: Or maybe he just licks himself a lot.

Katelyn: That could be too!

Michael on bike

Michael: Today I am testing out the efficacy of wearing a lavalier mic while biking. I'm curious how much wind it's picking up.

At Quizno's

Quizno's employee: Hullo!

Michael: Hi! Can I do a large classic Italian on the japapeno cheddar?

Quizno's employee: For here or to-go?

Michael: To-go. Please.

Dave, do you own this franchise?

Dave: No, my wife does. I'm her slave.

Michael: Thank you very much!

Dave: Have a good one.

Michael: You too.

Outside of Quizno's

Michael: I stopped at Quizno's and then I came back out to my bike and I can't unlock it. The lock won't unlock. I don't know what's going on.

(a couple of hours later)

Michael: Well, at this point I've been stuck here a couple of hours. Several people have tried to get it off and nothing was working so I just called a locksmith. It's gonna be like 80 bucks. They're gonna come down and cut it off and I'll replace it with this.

Michael on bike

Michael: Well, that was a bit of a nightmare. I had to spend 80 bucks to have that thing cut off, another 40 bucks on another lock. I would've much rather spent that money on Chipotle burritos.

The office

Michael: Well, I got to work pretty late.

Finished up an episode of CrashCourse Kids.

Still very smokey out there. Maybe hazy is the correct term.

Outside of the office

Michael: Goodbye, pigeon! See you next week. Bye, baby pigeons.

Michael on bike

(hazy bike footage with gloomy music)

Parking Lot

Michael: That was 4 minutes 36 seconds per mile. Mission accomplished.

(Later)

Michael: Glenn has been gracious enough to lend me his iPhone 6 regular, so that I can amount this on my bike, compare it to the footage from this camera to see if this one jiggles less than the iPhone 6 Plus. Ready?

Glenn: Let's go for it!

Michael: Okay. Here is some iPhone 6 Plus footage. And a car. And two cars.

(Bike footage)

And here is some iPhone 6 footage.

(More bike footage)

Michael: As far as I can tell the iPhone 6 regular version has none of the jello artifacts that plague the 6 Plus, so I think we have indeed found that the.. the optical image stabilisation, which is in the iPhone 6 Plus, exacerbates the jello-y-ness, when there's a very fine vibration going through the phone.

Thank for your assistance in solving this mystery!

Glenn: You're welcome!

Michael: Now I just need to decide what to do about my next phone.

Michael's car

Michael: Another night, another trip to Burger King.

Katelyn: Ssshhh! Don't let the diet fairy hear you.

Michael: The diet fairy. I'm sure the diet fairy has been very upset with me for a long time.

Katelyn: It's such a small lens. It's like... it's a cute lens. Like if I were to buy a camera for like an American Girl Doll, this would be the size of the lens that they would have on the camera.

Michael: Theoretically, we will be leaving for Boulder, Colorado in eight and a half hours.

Katelyn: Theoretically in eight and a half hours?

Michael: If we leave at 7 in the morning...

Katelyn: Yeah!

Michael: ... we should get there at about 8 pm

Katelyn: Mhm. If we don't stop.

Michael: I figure it's possible that I might travel at a speed that is...

Katelyn: Speeding?

Michael: ...good. In such a manner to possibly offset the time taken up by pitstops. A.k.a. I wanna get there by 8.

Katelyn: What's so important that you need to be there by 8?

Michael: SLEEP!

(Later)

Michael: (to Burger King employee) Thank You!

Burger King Employee: You guys take it easy.

Katelyn: (beeping noises)

Michael: Wooo!