Beauty and the Beast
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Transcript[edit | edit source]
Havana, Cuba
Elizabeth Viatkin: Hey! This is Elizabeth from Havana in Cuba. And you’re watching WhatImDoingRightNow.
("Intro" plays over the opening title screen.)
Michael Aranda's Apartment – 10:46 AM MDT
(Index lays on the floor in front of the TV in the living room. Radius is looking out the sliding glass door.)
Michael Aranda: Good morning, kitten. Good morning, other kitten.
Michael Aranda's Apartment Complex
(Michael walks down the stairs from his apartment and out to the parking lot.)
Michael: I did not sleep terribly well last night, so I feel pretty groggy. I’m playing with this FeiyuTech gimbal again today. I don’t know how to tell how much battery power it has left so I’m not sure when I expect this thing to die. It’s raining a little bit. This thing is certainly... heavier than just holding a phone.
Katelyn Salem's Jeep
(Michael gets into Katelyn Salem's Jeep with her and she turns the car on.)
Michael: My arm is hurting a little bit.
(The brakes on Katelyn's Jeep squeak as she pulls out of the parking space.)
Katelyn Salem: Ooh my—I’m a little squeaky.
(Katelyn laughs.)
I’m a little bit squeaky.
Michael: I wonder if there’s a way to change how... quickly this thing reacts to turning it. It feels really sluggish.
Katelyn: Yeah, it does a little bit.
Michael: I want it to react quicker when I point the camera in any given direction. When—When I point the handle in a given direction, I want the camera to be there more quickly.
(The camera points out the front windshield of the car at a slight downward tilt to the right.)
This thing really has a problem maintaining a level horizon. I mean, now it’s all... wonky.
Complexly Office
(Abby stretches her legs and then walks around a little in the filming room for Crash Course Sociology.)
Nicole Sweeney: I think... I think it is... it is...
Nick Jenkins: Fine.
Nicole: ...fine.
Nick: Oh, yeah, I agree.
Michael: We’re about to film Sociology, episode 11.
(The camera shows the episode script on a laptop.)
"How many cultures are there in the world?”
(Dance music plays over a Later That Day screen.)
5:28 PM MDT
(Caitlin Hofmeister, Marshall Granger, Hank Green, and Andrew Rizzo sit on the set of Holy Fucking Science.)
Hank Green: It’s just—it’s so—
Andrew Rizzo: It’s easier.
Hank: —so much less accidental pregnancy.
Andrew: So much—and uh—
Hank: Are you filming right now!?
(Michael chuckles.)
God damn it!
Andrew: Don’t put that—
Caitlin Hofmeister: Hi Michael! Hi Katelyn!
Hank: —music playing over...
Andrew: Look at all these toys!
Hank: I didn’t take my shirt off...
(Ceri sits across two desk chairs in her office.)
Michael: Did you finish your work?
Ceri Riley: Uh... no.
Michael: Hm. But look how stable this shot is.
(The camera slowly backs away from Ceri through her office door.)
Ceri: Wow... so stable.
Michael: I know.
Katelyn Salem's Jeep
Michael: I think I said this yesterday, but my least favorite thing about this gimbal device is that it seems like... it ends up being kinda tilty. And I found the instructions for this thing online, and I... followed the directions to reset its horizontal rotation, and it, uh... didn’t help. So, I don’t know.
Katelyn: Is it always tilting more, like, this way?
Michael: It seems to depend which side the gimbal ends up on. It—It tilts downward, away from the side being held.
(The camera is pointed out the front windshield.)
Michael: Such a smooth car ride!
Katelyn: Ooooh! It’s ‘cause I have a luxury vehicle.
(The camera smoothly swings left toward Katelyn driving.)
Michael: I’m surprised that this thing’s battery’s still going. So—
Katelyn: Have you been using it during the day? At work?
Michael: I haven’t used it a ton, but like... I didn’t even charge the battery after I opened the box.
Katelyn: Yeah.
Michael: So I—I’m impressed that it’s still going. Battery, plus.
(Michael gives a thumbs up with his left hand coming into frame.)
Tiltiness, negative.
(Michael gives a thumbs down with his left hand coming into frame.)
I guess instead of “plus” and “negative” I should have said “plus...
(Katelyn laughs.)
...minus.”
Katelyn: Yeah.
Michael Aranda's Apartment
(Kelsey Cote is making food in the kitchen as Michael sits at the counter.)
Michael: Kelsey... Is that a (in an accent) squahsh?
Kelsey: (In an accent) A buttahnut squahsh?
Michael: A squahsh.
Katelyn: It’s a squish.
Kelsey: Mhm...
Michael: What are you gonna do with that squahsh?
Kelsey: Uh... it’s a secret.
Michael: Oh. Okay.
Kelsey: It’s not... to eat...
Michael: What do you have in your hand, Kelsey?
Kelsey: It’s a vegan version of a food that... I did not think anyone would dare to make vegan. Are you gonna guess?
Michael: Pig feet.
Kelsey: Tuna.
Michael: Vegan Tuna.
Kelsey: It was strange enough that I picked it up. And I said, “I’m gonna buy it because I’m curious.”
(Michael takes the can of vegan tuna from Kelsey and holds it's Nutritional Facts panel up to the camera.)
Michael: Ingredients are: "Pea protein, pea starch, water, olive oil, potato starch, sea salt, seaweed powder, organic agave nectar, organic apple cider vinegar, black pepper... konjac powder?" I’ve never heard of that. And "ginger". It’s, uh... “100% plant based - So delicious!”
Kelsey: I’m sure the first part of that’s true. I think the second part is maybe, uh, debatable.
Michael: Do you like tuna?
Kelsey: Yeah, tuna’s fine, which is why I was like, “Oh, this is interesting enough that I’ll pay (scoffing) $5 for it.
Michael: (Astonished) That was $5?!
Kelsey: $5 for a thing of tuna! Regular tuna, if you go to the store, it’s like 60 cents for a can of tuna. So this better just... blow my mind.
Michael: Ehh...
(Michael sits on the couch next to Katelyn on his laptop.)
Michael: Vegan tuna, customer reviews...
Kelsey: (Distantly) Oh!
Michael: “I wish I could give 0 stars.”
(Kelsey laughs from the kitchen.)
Michael: “I have been vegan for a long time and am used to proxies. This is, hands-down, the grossest thing I’ve encountered as a vegan.”
Kelsey: Is this from their website? Amazon?
Michael: Uh, this is from veganessentials.com.
Kelsey: Are there any positive reviews?
Michael: This person who gave it 5 stars says, “I’ve had this several times now, prepared in different ways. I prepared it like tuna the first time, with Vegenaise and onion on bread and it was alright, nothing special. After that, I found myself crave it.
(Katelyn chuckles.)
So I had that again and enjoyed it more. More recently I used it as filling for vegan tacos and OMG! So good! Should be called ‘vegan helper’ as it is almost exactly like ground beef!”
Kelsey: ...What?
Michael: (Sarcastically) Which is exactly what I want from my tuna...
Kelsey: What?!
Michael: “Amazing and delicious. Love it. Will buy more in the future. Thank you.”
(Michael laughs.)
Kelsey: Uh....
Michael Aranda's Apartment Complex – 6:35 PM MDT
Michael: We are about to see the new “Beauty and the Beast” movie.
(The camera whips around to face Kelsey walking in front of Michael, who turns around dramatically when her name is said.)
Kelsey, how do you feel about Emma Watson?
Kelsey: She’s a hottie.
(Katelyn and Ceri walk up behind Michael.)
Katelyn: Hueh?
Michael: Katelyn?
Katelyn: Yeah?
Michael: How do you feel about Emma Watson?
Katelyn: I think that if I could be any other person in the world, I would wanna be Emma Watson.
Michael: Ceri?
Ceri: Mhm?
Michael: How do you feel about Emma Watson?
Ceri: Positively.
(Katelyn laughs.)
Michael: I too feel positively about Emma Watson. If I had the opportunity to be friends with Emma Watson, I would take it. Do you know what else I would be excited to do with Emma Watson?
Katelyn: (Suggestively) I can guess...
Michael: (Innocently) Spread the good news of feminism, of course.
Katelyn: Oh, yeah. I mean...
Ceri: I was gonna guess “eat a burger.”
Michael: Eat a burger? That’s up there too!
Ceri: Yeah.
(They walk up on a small dog that is walking alone next to one of the apartment buildings.)
Michael: Hey, look at this little dog up here!
Kelsey: (Excitedly) Hi! Come here!
(The dog barks as they continue to walk toward it.)
Oh, are you gonna be mean?
(The dog continues barking as they walk past it.)
Katelyn: (Through closed teeth) I don’t know you, get away!
Carmike 12 Movie Theater
(The group stands at in a line. Todd Williams has joined them.)
Michael: Toddly.
(Todd acts surprised.)
Todd: Michael!
Michael: How do you feel about “Beauty and the Beast”?
Todd: Nostalgic. I’m looking forward to it.
Michael: Look at this big line of people all waiting to see this movie.
Todd: They’re all gonna sing.
Michael: I—I don’t—I don’t want it. Todd just pointed out to me that there’s a high chance that people are gonna start singing along with the songs in this movie.
Kelsey: You don’t wanna sing with?
Michael: That’s not the movie experience that I’m after.
(Dance music plays over a One Movie Later screen.)
(The group stand around outside the movie theater.)
Michael: Okay, so without, uh... needing to explain, out of 5 stars, how many would you give it?
Todd: Ehh, Wh—wh—what’s an “eh”? Like 2, 3?
Ceri: 3.
Katelyn: 3.
(Kelsey holds up two fingers. They begin to walk back to the apartment complex through the parking lot.)
Michael: I would give it two stars. There were a lot of things that bothered me a little bit about it. But mainly... I feel like, in a story, the most important thing is characters and we went, like, 75% of the movie without seeing anybody think about anything. It was just, like, people doing stuff without thinki—I don’t know if it’s like a script problem or an editing problem or a directing problem or somewhere in between, but the pacing felt weird.
Katelyn: Yeah, the pacing—everything was going by really quickly.
Michael: So fast! Like, you didn’t see anyone stop and think—
Katelyn: It was like you didn’t get a break t—Yeah.
Michael: —until there was the scene when Beast decides to let Belle go and that was the first time where I was like, “Oh! Acting! Someone’s thinking about something!” I feel bad only giving it like two stars because, you know, some day when Emma Watson and I are, like, really good friends...
(Katelyn laughs.)
I’m going to have to explain to her that I didn’t really like her “Beauty and the Beast” movie. But—
Katelyn: That’s funny that you say that because that’s like—I was thinking about what I wanted to rate this movie like, “Awwww! Emma!
(Ceri laughs.)
I’m sorry, but it wasn’t that great.”
Michael: The sounds design the whole time was really, like, super compressed sounding and loud. To the point where it was hard to hear all the time what people were actually saying.
Katelyn: I feel like that was...
Michael: Especially when the music was going on.
Katelyn: ...sort of the theater’s fault.
Todd: Yeah.
Katelyn: Because when they were playing the previews and stuff, it sounded just like... they went out for the screen, but then they didn’t get the right...
Todd: High quality speakers.
Katelyn: ...speakers. Yeah. They—they skimped out on the speakers.
Michael: I was super disappointed the first time that Emma shows up and she started singing
(Kelsey groans.)
because it was like super obvious that she was super autotuned. It was very divorced from... the visuals going on, and what I mean by that is: when she goes into her house and she sees her dad and he’s singing, you could tell that he was singing live while they were filming it and they used that audio. But pretty much everywhere else in the film, they obviously recorded the song first and then were lipsyncing to it and it never really gelled. It never really felt like I was watching someone actually sing.
Union Pacific Street
Todd: Speaking of singing, did you hear the lady behind you singing?
Michael: We were, like, most way through the movie and I was like, (excitedly) “Yes! No one has sung yet.” The... the “Tale as Old as Time” started, and then someone back there started singing; I was like “Dammit.”
Katelyn: One of the things that I did like about this is that the... songs still felt very much like the original. They didn’t change a bunch of stuff about that. They didn’t, like, try to spice it up or anything. It just—it felt like the original songs.
Michael: But... Honestly, the singing thing would bother me not-at-all if I felt like the story itself had been well told, and I don’t feel like it was. In a cartoon I feel like it’s easier to get over the fact that there’s a human falling in love with a non-human, but when it’s live-action... I felt weird. It was a little bit too beastiality-y.
Todd: Well I—I kept—
Michael Aranda's Apartment Complex
Michael: My feeling is, if you really, really want to see this movie: go see it. But, if you’re like, “Eh... on the fence;” (whispering) maybe wait until it’s on Netflix. Emma, I’m so sorry.
Apartment Complex Fitness Center – 11:27 PM MDT
Michael: I was looking back at my running history for this year so far and I found that I have crossed over the 100 mile mark. I think right now I’m at 106 miles for the year. So that’s a fun milestone to have passed. However... I want to run 2017 miles in 2017; that means that I am currently 99 miles behind schedule. So, for the next 99 runs, if I just add an extra mile, then, uh... I’ll catch up. Or I could just add an extra 3 miles to the next 33 runs. I dunno. But, uh... I’m about to get a jog in and I’m gonna to try to throw some extra mileage on it.
Michael Aranda's Apartment
(Michael sits on his couch in the dark. He gets up and walks over to the sliding glass door as he talks.)
I ran 4.66 miles, and now I’m sleepy. Tomorrow, though, is going to be very exciting because it’s Todd’s 30th birthday. So there’s some... fun activities planned. I guess with that, I’ll see you tomorrow.
("Outro" plays over the end screen.)