Baggage Garden
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Transcript[edit | edit source]
Silver Spring, Maryland
Ben Carlin: Hi, I’m Ben Carlin.
Jonathan Carlin: I’m Jonathan Carlin.
Chloe Nagle: I’m Chloe Nagle.
All: And this is what we’re doing right now!
("Intro" plays over the opening title screen.)
Sheraton Boston Hotel – 8:54 AM MST[a]
(Michael Aranda sits at a table on his laptop. Katelyn Salem is gathering her things. Todd Williams is out of frame.)
Michael: This is February 27th, 2017. It’s 8:55 AM.
Todd: Happy birthday!
Michael: (Unenthusiastically) Wooooo.
Katelyn: Happity birthday!
(Todd claps.)
Todd: Happy birthday!
Katelyn: Birthday, birthday, it’s your birthday.
Michael: I didn’t quite finish all the stuff I was supposed to finish before leaving on this trip. So I had to wake up early-ish today so I could finish that. Luckily we are two hours ahead of Missoula; they needed this in Missoula at 9 o’clock. And I think I have this finished. It’s the, uh, intro song for Crash Course Sociology. But! I’m having trouble getting my computer to render it. Which is a problem.
(Michael taps the Dillon's coupon the employee at the front desk handed Michael when they checked in.)
Katelyn, we didn’t go to Dillons.
Katelyn: We didn't.
(Todd lays on the bed with a pillow over his face and earbuds in his ears. He's tapping his foot. Katelyn giggles.)
Katelyn: He said he was tired.
(The camera shows Michael's laptop screen with the Crash Course Sociology intro uploaded to Dropbox.)
Michael: Okay, I did it! I did it!
(Todd gets up.)
Todd: Ugh!
Michael: Good morning, Todd.
Todd: Ugh! Uhh! Hassa bassa.
(Katelyn makes an amused noise.)
Michael: Gah!
(Michael, Katelyn, and Todd walk down the hall to the elevator with their luggage.)
Okay. We’re leaving for the airport, like, twenty minutes later than we wanted to. But, uh... hopefully that’s okay.
(They enter the elevator.)
(The group stands outside the hotel waiting for their ride. Michael holds up an empty bottle of Diet A&W root beer.)
Michael: This was my breakfast.
Todd: Doesn’t seem healthy.
Katelyn: Nutritious and delicious.
Michael: Mmm.
Lyft Car
(Funky piano music plays as the group takes a Lyft to the airport. The camera shows shots of buildings and cars passing by outside the window and the Lyft car driving through a tunnel.)
Boston Logan International Airport – 11:42 AM EST
Michael: Despite leaving a little bit late, we just checked in, we’ve still got 40 minutes before the plane takes off. Everything should be fine. We’re about to go through security. I don’t know what was in my bag that was funny, but as it went through and the guy was looking at the x-ray, he started laughing at the screen and he brought the other guy over and pointed and they both laughed. And then they checked my bag and then they were like, “Okay, have a nice day.”
(Todd laughs.)
I don’t have anything in there that would make someone laugh, I don’t think.
Todd: What if they thought it was, like, one of them dildos?
Michael: (Laughing) I don’t know.
(The group sit in some seats at a terminal gate: Michael and Todd on one side of the aisle, Katelyn on the other. Todd uses the camera perspective to squish Katelyn's head with his fingers and Katelyn sticks her tongue out at him. She then makes an annoyed face as Todd begins to poke her head instead, so she bites at his finger.)
Todd: That's good. We're gonna have some fun here.
(Todd begins to squish Katelyn's head again. Katelyn makes a worried face.)
I’m squishing your head. I’m s— Eh, eh.
(Todd frames Katelyn's head between his fingers and then twists them violently to the sides while making a crack sound.)
Katelyn: Did you break my neck?
Todd: Yeah.
(Michael appears sitting next to Katelyn with a Wendy's bag.)
Michael: I got a Triple Baconator.
(Katelyn laughs hysterically.)
Are you ready, Katelyn?
(Katelyn yawns.)
(Michael and Katelyn laugh.)
(The group walks down the walkway to the plane.)
Michael: Crash Course team just got back to me about some changes they want in the intro. So after I land, I need to whip out my laptop. Get back to writing music.
(A collection of bags sits at the end of the walkway near the plane door.)
Look at this baggage garden!
Katelyn: I'm gonna add my baggage to the garden.
(Michael walks onto the plane behind Todd.)
Airplane
Michael: (To a stewardness) Hello.
(Michael is struggling to fit in his seat.)
Umm... This is a very small airplane.
Katelyn: Mhm.
Michael: Very small.
(Michael struggles to open the window located slightly behind his seat, but succeeds.)
Eh. Eh!
(The plane takes off.)
Here we go. Did you know that today is my 31st birthday? I can confirm that, uh... after you turn 30, birthdays are less exciting. I’m spending my birthday flying from Boston to New York. We don’t really have anything planned beyond me needing to work on that Crash Course Sociology intro some more. I wouldn’t mind getting a jog in. Maybe out on the streets of New York. Maybe I’ll run into Casey Neistat while he’s jogging. I’ve not had any success finding Apple AirPods anywhere, but maybe... New York of all places will have some in stock somewhere.
(Laidback electronic music plays over shots of Boston as the plane flies away, a slow dolly zoom towards Todd from Michael's seat across the aisle met by Todd slowly moving his face toward the camera, cargo ships moving in the ocean, some neighborhoods around New York City, the plane landing, an arrivals sign at John F. Kennedy International Airport at 2:41 PM EST, a toothbrush riding around a baggage carousel, distant sky scrappers from the window of a car, a policemen standing next to a police van, cars slowly moving through a tunnel, Katelyn looking up at buildings out of the car window, and a homeless man walking past the car while it's stopped at a light.)
Manhattan West Hotel – 4:00 PM EST
(Michael gets out of the car.)
Michael: Eruh! Is this the place?
Todd: Yeah.
(Michael, Katelyn, and Todd walk into the building.)
Michael: Manhattan West Hotel. Look at that art!
Katelyn: Yeah, that’s some interesting art. I think it’s paper.
(The group are in their hotel room.)
Michael: Well...
Todd: Where’s the bathroom?
Michael: Here’s our hotel room. There’s a locked door in it.
Katelyn: Why don’t you ask the ladies out there.
(Michael points to a queen sized bed and then to a twin sized bed.)
Michael: This is Todd’s bed. Right here. I guess Katelyn and I will share that one.
Todd: I hope you’re comfy.
Michael: What’s out here?
(The window shade squeaks as Michael lifts it up.)
Michael: Ah... A dirty window.
(The hotel room phone rings.)
Katelyn: Oh!
Michael: Huh? Huh?!
(Michael picks up the phone.)
Hello? A man left a number for us to call... Uhh... Okay.
(Michael laughs.)
Are you ready, Katelyn?
Katelyn: Yes.
Michael: Okay, we’re ready.
(The phone number is bleeped out. Todd brings one of the hotel maids into their room to unlock the backroom door.)
Okay. There’s—Oh. He just hung up. That’s mysterious.
Todd: Alright. Thank you.
Michael: So, we can get into the bathroom now?
(Michael and Todd walk into the bathroom. The bathtub faucet is letting out a small stream of water.)
It sounds like water is running. Water is running.
(Todd tries to turn the water off.)
Todd: That’s off.
Michael: Huh.
(Todd stands in the middle of the bedroom.)
Todd.
Todd: Yeah?
Michael: The water’s running again. Um... Someone called from the front desk and said that a man left a number for us to call when we got here.
(Todd draws back and shakes his head in surprise.)
Todd: Why?
Michael: I don’t know. But Katelyn has the number on her phone. Would you like to call the number?
Todd: Yeah. What’s the—what’s the number?
(Todd calls the number on speaker phone. The phone rings. There's a loud noise when the call gets picked up.)
Unknown Man on Phone: Hello?
Todd: Yes. Hello?
Unknown Man on Phone: Hello?
Todd: Yes, hi. I was told to give this call—this number a call once I checked into my room.
Unknown Man on Phone: Oh. Yeah, yeah. He gave you the number?
Todd: He gave me the number.
Unknown Man on Phone: For what?
Todd: I don’t know! That’s why I—I guess he—he left—you left the number for us to call.
Unknown Man on Phone: Oh, no. I don't know.
Todd: Okay, sorry.
Unknown Man on Phone: That's alright.
Michael: Check the number that you called versus what you have written down there.
(Todd reads out the number, which is bleeped out again.)
Katelyn: Yeah, that’s what I have written down.
(Michael picks up the hotel room phone to call the front desk.)
Michael: This is... so bizarre.
Todd: Is this—Is this the beginning of some, like, mystery?
Michael: (On the phone) Hi there. Uh, can you give me that number again that you just had us call? Yeah, okay. We just called that number and the guy had no idea what we were talking about. That’s very—Okay.
(Michael laughs.)
Thank you.
(Michael hangs up the phone.)
The guy at the front desk says that someone just keeps calling here asking for 204. I guess the front desk guy took the number so that when someone checked in here he would have them c... I don’t know. Are we gonna get murdered tonight?
Katelyn: Yikes.
Todd: I dunno, man.
(Michael holds a box of mini cupcakes from Stuffed Cupcakes.)
Michael: So, because it’s my birthday, Kelsey had Stuffed Cupcakes delivered to our room. I was tryin’ to be healthy, Katelyn!
Katelyn: I dunno what to tell ya.
(Todd takes the box of cupcakes.)
Todd: Thanks. Thanks, Kelsey!
(Michael is sitting down at a table.)
Michael: Alright.
(Michael eats one of the cupcakes.)
So, Todd is tryin’ to figure out how to get the thing to stop leaking. I’m working on Crash Course stuff. Katelyn, what are you doing right now?
Katelyn: Brushing my hair.
Michael: Okay. Good luck.
(The camera shows Michael's laptop screen, on which is open a list of available Wi-Fi networks to connect to.)
Todd, you said that the Wi-Fi network was GuestNet?
Todd: Yeah.
(There are two networks named GuestNet on the list.)
Michael: Is it GuestNet or... GuestNet?
(Michael holds up a piece of paper that reads "Network Name: GuestNet Password: mwguest303".)
I can’t tell.
(Todd laughs.)
Todd: Um...
Michael: This looks like it just says “GuestNet” but over here we have “GuestNet” and “ GuestNet”.
(Dance music plays over a Later That Day screen.)
Michael: Suddenly... Cade.
(Cade Hiser stands next to Todd in the hotel room.)
Are you still uploading on YouTube at all?
Cade: Kind of. Okay, so here’s the funny thing. I posted my first video...
Michael: Okay.
Cade: In five years.
Michael: Wow.
Cade: On—on an account that nobody knows about and it has a hundred views. You should go check it out: youtube.com/cade.
Michael: You hadn’t posted for five years on YouTube—
Cade: On my personal stuff, yeah.
Michael: On your personal channel. What made you decide now is the time?
Cade: Well you have to watch the video and find out. No it’s, uh...
Michael: Is that what you talk about?
Cade: Yeah! That’s—that’s pretty much what I talk about. I started in 2007 and then in 2017 I was like, “You know, I kind of what to do something.” But I want it to be, like... no pressure. I just want to, like, make something and put it out there. 'Cause I’ve been doing it for work basically and I didn’t really know how to, like, make something for myself again. So the whole video was basically just talking about that. You should check it out.
Michael: I will.
Cade: It has a hundred views.
Michael: One hundred views!
Cade: 'Cause I didn’t put it on my old account.
Todd: cadegoestocollege?
Cade: Yeeeeah.
Todd: cadegoestocollege!
Cade: But I don’t anymore. Hey, hey!
(Todd laughs.)
Todd: Hey, hey!
6:36 PM EST
(The camera points down one direction of the street out the window of the hotel room, and then swings around to point down the other direction.)
8th Avenue
Michael: Todd went to go hangout with Cade. Katelyn and I are walking to CVS and Chipotle. 'Cause I’m hon-gray. What do you need at CVS?
Katelyn: Some drank.
Michael: Some drank?
Katelyn: Mhm. Maybe some—
(They walk past a store with a poster in the window that reads "Fresh Fruit Smoothies" and has a picture of an orange smoothie, a strawberry smoothie, and a kiwi smoothie.)
Michael: What about these “Fresh Fruit Smoothies”?
Katelyn: Eeeeeehew. I don’t know how fresh they be.
Michael: You don’t like fresh fruit?
Katelyn: I do like fresh fruit. I don’t know if I like (emphasis) their fresh fruit.
(The camera and Michael point across the street.)
Michael: There’s a Panda Express over there.
(The camera points up at the James A. Farley Post Office Building.)
This... is the biggest post office I’ve ever seen.
Katelyn: Has it been used in movies?
Michael: I don’t know. I assume so.
(The sound of a subway going down the tracks comes up from a grate in the sidewalk.)
There’s a subway train down there.
Katelyn: Mhm.
Chipotle
(The camera is set up at the far end of a long table pointed at Katelyn and Michael eating their food.)
Michael: So you’ve never been to New York before?
(Katelyn shakes her head.)
You haven’t seen very much of it, but how do you feel about it so far?
Katelyn: Boston... is a lot better.
(Katelyn laughs.)
New York is very square and there’s just, like, blocks upon blocks of buildings, whereas Boston it seems like there’s a little more disorder. The buildings are older and I like that architecture more. It’s more, like, romantic looking. And there seems to be cleaner areas, which is, like, just nicer looking in general. And things seem to be spaced out with gardens and parks every once in awhile.
Michael: Maybe we can still find somewhere in New York that is more your style.
Katelyn: Have any places in mind?
Michael: If you’ve never been to New York before, I feel like we need to go to Times Square. We need to go to Central Park. We could go see the Statue of Liberty. We got options.
(The camera is zoomed in on the Chipotle menu on the wall. There is a black triangle next to all four of the main items on the menu. Michael points at them.)
I guess this is a thing in New York where you have to label things when they, uh, contain more than your daily recommended amount of sodium. All of the things (laughing) on the menu over there have that little black triangle, meaning they have too much sodium. How does that make you feel, Katelyn?
Katelyn: Bloated.
("Outro" plays over the end screen.)
Notes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Michael is reading the time off of his laptop, which is set to Mountain Standard Time. It is actually 10:54 AM EST.